Author: Willis

I'm the computer nerd.

Women — Can’t bang random chicks with ’em; Can’t bang random women if they don’t exist


Allison Stokke - Hot High School Pole VaulterI’m like most guys — I like sports and women and never the twain shall meet. Though, if the internet and blogo-icosahedron (yes blogs are a 20-sided die) have any say the 2 shall never part. The picture on the left is of Allison Stokke, a high school pole vaulter from California. ?????? ??? Do a Google search for her and you get over 185,000 results. About a pole vaulter. In High School. Now do a search for Rudy Ruettiger. Half the results. The Internet has spoken, and it wants you to know about women and sports.

So I listened. And I heard some crazy stories. Like a female golfer from Dubai who had a terrible sexual escapade and related that story with puns. The Philadelphia Cheerleaders have a blog. Who cares that Brad Penny is 5-1 with a 2.54 ERA, he’s doing Eliza Dushku. And very recently I came across an elimination battle of hot wives and girlfriends.

After the crazy sexy women stuff, it started to get weird. Read More

I Once Heard That Golf Was A Sport

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Orange Dinosaur In Saugus, MAGolf is the businessman’s game of choice, because you can relax, drink heavily, and have conversation while still playing and not get sweaty. ?????? ??? At least that’s my guess, for I am no businessman. So I will let Tiger Woods and the businesspeoples of the world have their golf because I get my golf delivered in other forms,

First off there is miniature golf. It’s like regular golf if you decided to play regular golf in Holland* at a castle** that was probably previously owned by Dracula trying to defend himself from Mr. Belmont***. I like miniature golf because it doesn’t take nearly as long as regular golf and there’s no slicing into the woods off the tee. Also each hole is usually a surprise and you have to guess which of the 3 holes in the barn will place the ball closest to the cup on the lower level. Also, how many PGA courses have big orange dinosaurs?

For my next crazy golf event, I give you: Underwater Golf. Read More

I’m Going to Euro Disney

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“Now that you’ve won the Super Bowl, what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to Euro Disney”

Ok, I don’t think it would go down like that. Actually I don’t think anyone should ever say “I’m going to Euro Disney” and mean it. It’s Euro Disney (Well, renamed to Disneyland Resort Paris) for chrissake. A French journalist wrote:
George Bush With Mouse Ears

…a horror made of cardboard, plastic and appalling colors, a construction of hardened chewing gum and idiotic folklore taken straight out of comic books written for obese Americans.

Disney may not have a good name in Europe, but the people, the obese Americans, at the National Football League do. (Have you seen an offensive line recently? They have average weights above 300 lbs.) Or so the NFL would have us believe they have a good name. They are in some preliminary investigations with Europe… I picture this as a noir style investigation (also it’s Tagliabue not Goodell doing the investigation in my mind because I think “P.I. P. Tagliabue” would look better on the frosted glass window to a Private Investigator’s office.): Read More

Make Him Stop

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Don Orsillo can’t contain his laughter.

Manny pets Tavarez
Uploaded by bjs1234

EDIT: No Longer YouTube because MLB thinks they’re losing money… When I clearly sees and other ads showing. Also, I’m sad I missed this when it happened, and maybe I’ll watch tonights game hoping for more Don & Remy hyjinks. (Remember the pizza?). Update 5/22: Had to switch video sources again. The MLB Crackdown Team has extended their reach. I promise to use or hosted embedded video as soon as they have this clip available.

Update: I learned from Sox & Dawgs that Gordon Edes from the Boston Globe reported on why Manny was petting Julian. According to Edes, Julian was upset with Manny for not paying attention to the game. From what Julian said, when Julian is mad at Manny, Manny pets him to calm him down.

A Bloggidy Linktank

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Brady Quinn likes to touch menThere is a lot of fun stuff going on on the web. ?????? ??? ???????? You should check some of it out.

If your wondering about the picture here and what first round draft pick Brady Quinn is doing, I think Kissing Susy Kolber may be able to explain things about the pictures and about his girlfriend.

Or perhaps you’d like to see some Drunk Athletes goofing off and having a good time. The David Ortiz pictures are funny because he has a giant smile when being kissed by 2 girls, but he’s all “oh no you don’t” to the guy.

As for funny pictures, check out some soccer plans for a few national teams.

If soccer and Shakespeare came together, a DC United fan blog has the Starting 11 that would result from such a beautiful unholy marriage.

I leave you with some David Ortiz commercials: Read More

Who’s Who in the Kentucky Derby

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Racing horsesSo, I don’t know a damn thing about horse racing except maybe that there are horses racing. I did however come across the list of horses that will be racing in the Kentucky Derby this weekend, and for people looking to bet at Royal Ascot this year they can learn a way to do it with different apps online, Livestreaming Services Melbourne the top live streaming companies understands what potential your live event can have when your event goes live around the world. So, in order to help everyone with their betting, I am going to give you a run down of the horses.

  1. Sedgefield: Don’t bet on Sedgefield unless you know what a Sedge is. Actually, I looked it up, it’s a plant that grows well in ditches (not fields). So, even if you know what a sedge is (and you should I JUST told you), don’t bet here because Sedge doesn’t grow in fields (well).
  2. Curlin: So, I hear that Curlin is the favorite, but I don’t believe the hype. Mostly because I think Curlin needs a couple of people in front of him with brooms directing where to go.
  3. Zanjero: Any horse with a name a little like Sanjaya will do well out of the gate but will completely horrible down the stretch. Though you should be sure to check out what jockey Zanjero is sporting this weekend. Read More

Randy Moss Will Make You Jump Jump


Moss Moons Green BayMy original idea for a post was to make another All-Name team for the NFL Draft, but it’s been done. So I was looking at other things that happened during the draft when I find out that the New England Patriots traded for Randy Moss. I don’t know much about Moss other than he’s a pain in the ass and a good wide receiver. So I’m doing some research when a song idea comes to mind. So I will share the results of my research with you — through song.

Randy Moss Will Make You Jump Jump

Jump Jump
You should know you should know that ahhh
Randy Moss is now having anything today
As he stands there totally Mossed out
He commences to may you

Jump Jump
The Moss Freak[1] will make you Jump Jump
The Freak Moss will make you Jump Jump
Randy Moss will make you Jump Jump Read More