Let’s Make Some Predictions


In Vegas they make predictions all the time. The goal of Vegas predictions (especially with football lines) is to guess the exact difference in score so that everybody loses their money. Or put the odds in that place where people are willing to fork over their dough in hopes of increased cash flow, but not too high as to cause bankruptcy if you have to pay out.

This is where I got all my predictionsThe World Series is full of predictions and betting. I could predict the Rockies sweeping the Sox and with The Greek having that at 25:1, I could put down $100 and walk away with $2500. But since I think that the Sox will win in 6 (agreeing with Vegas, disagreeing with Serpico who thinks the Sox sweep) it would be me putting down $100 and walking away with $0.

I wondered if any of the Nerds on Sports predictions could lead to some good betting lines, so I asked the team to break out their crystal balls and let me know what they saw. As it turns out we have some active crystal balls. Here are the NoS Predictions:

On Field antics:

  • David Ortiz makes a diving catch at first.
  • Kaz Matsui goes 0 for the entire world series (I know, not a stretch).
  • Troy Tolowiski smokes some weed (look at the picture:
    http://colorado.rockies.mlb.com/images/players/mugshot/ph_453064.jpg )
    with Manny.
  • Eric Gagne pitches a scoreless seventh inning. In a PawSox uniform. In 2009.
  • Pappelbon wears his goggles while pitching.
  • It will snow during the games… while in Boston.
  • Due to a shipping mixup, the Broncos are given the
    rockies’ uniforms and must represent Denver in the World Series.

We had a bunch of viewing about Joe Buck & Tim McCarver:

  • Tim McCarver has a heart attack (or is otherwise hospitalized) after
    game 2 and America cheers.
  • Joe Buck, seeing snow before Game 3, drives to Invesco Field and is ready to do the Broncos/ Pats game.
  • Tim McCarver credits Colorado’s elevation for the
    following: David Ortiz hitting 2 home runs per game;
    J.D. Drew losing a pop fly in the skylights; Manny
    Ramirez stumbling while going after a line drive; Eric
    Gagne walking the bases loaded; the crowds on
    Lansdowne Street before the game at Fenway; global
    warming; the assassination of Archduke Franz
  • Joe Buck calls Papelbon’s dance the Jub Jub.
  • Likely candidates for The Brandon Arroyo Hall of Fame: Tim Tulowitzki, Jakey Ellsbury, Uringo Jimenez, Jeremy Fogg, Yogi Torrealba

Even people not part of the current Sox or the Rox were spied in our visions:

  • Mike Lowell kills Fidel Castro (with RBIs?)
  • Clint Hurdle abruptly quits after game 3 to play a quasimodo-like
    character part in his brother Ron’s upcoming film, “Day of the Smiling
    Paperweight,” a love story set in the Crimean War. Renee Zellweger
    will win an Oscar, but that will be stripped amid revelations that she
    signed for Fedex packages at Paul Byrd’s house.
  • Barmes will make a glorious return, only to sprain his ankle while in the Watertown Target.
  • Todd Helton will ride past on his ATV cackling like a lunatic.
  • Steve Garvey comes out of retirement only to go right back when informed that the Padres failed to make the Series this year.
  • Fausto makes a deal with the devil. — oh wait that was the Indians…
    so, next year!

And there were even a few that went beyond a mere person:

  • California wildfires spread east and cancel Games 3-5, cast of Prison Break declared series winner. Dice-K MVP for boosting ratings via DVR.
  • Colorado will be destroyed by Bboston’s fighting robot.
  • The Rockies are caught unawares when Kevin Youkilis leads the Sox on elephant-back through their supposedly impenetrable mountain defense.

I know the Nerds aren’t the only people with malfunctioning tarot cards, what do you think will happen?