Moss Moons Green BayMy original idea for a post was to make another All-Name team for the NFL Draft, but it’s been done. So I was looking at other things that happened during the draft when I find out that the New England Patriots traded for Randy Moss. I don’t know much about Moss other than he’s a pain in the ass and a good wide receiver. So I’m doing some research when a song idea comes to mind. So I will share the results of my research with you — through song.

Randy Moss Will Make You Jump Jump

Jump Jump
You should know you should know that ahhh
Randy Moss is now having anything today
As he stands there totally Mossed out
He commences to may you

Jump Jump
The Moss Freak[1] will make you Jump Jump
The Freak Moss will make you Jump Jump
Randy Moss will make you Jump Jump

I know at times I may seem a tad or a little mad
I’m the Moss and I’m bad; give you something that you never had
I’ll make you Jump Jump; throw arms up like the ump
Then I’ll make my dealer richer than Donald Trump
And Why? oh my
Cause I’m just so high
Ain’t no lovable, hugable type of guy
On the field I double back — my route’s gotta knack
goin’ inside-out it’s wiggida wiggida wack
I come runnin’ and catchin’ to keep you jumpin’
1 & 10 NFL bullcrap is what I’m dumpin’
Pats fans askin’ about The Moss — I’m all that
So when they ask to the Krafts they believe that

Jump Jump
The Randy Moss will make you Jump Jump
The Moss Randy will make you Jump Jump
The Moss will make you Jump Jump
uh huh uh huh
Jump Jump
The Moss Freak will make you Jump Jump
The Freak Moss will make you Jump Jump
The Moss will make you Jump Jump

I let myself scorin’ scorin’
I won’t run a play that borin’ borin’
The R-A-N-D-Y-M-O-Double S
Ya you know me
I got you jumpin’ an’ pumpin’ an’ movin’ all around G
Defense, I make ya take a step back
They try to step to the Moss then they get jacked
My name in all the records books — that’s not incidental
And like you knowit so don’t be claiming that it’s mental

In the end zone my moves make you aghast
even if I’m faking, I still show the fans my ass
As you listen to my new school melody
The Randy make you J-U-M-P

Jump Jump
The Randy Moss will make you Jump Jump
The Moss Randy will make you Jump Jump
The Moss will make you Jump Jump
uh huh uh huh
Jump Jump
The Moss Freak will make you Jump Jump
The Freak Moss will make you Jump Jump
The Moss will make you Jump Jump

They say I can’t drive cuz I hit a cop,
Illegal U-turn, and ran a stop
And for all ya’ll sucka that don’t know
Check it out

Some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like this Go Go
Some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like this Go Go
Some of them try to rhyme but they can’t rhyme like this Go Go
Some of them try to rhyme but they can’t Go Go
Cause I’m the miggida miggida miggida Moss Randy
Miggida miggida miggida Moss
Cause I’m the miggida miggida miggida Moss Randy

(End after saying jump and uh-huh about 100 times)

There was one other thing that I couldn’t get in the song but wanted to share: after the mooning incident, according to ESPN, Moss was later caught on video being asked by a reporter if he had written the check to pay the fine, to which he responded, “When you’re rich, you don’t write checks.” The reporter followed up by asking Moss how he paid the fine. Moss responded, saying, “Straight cash, homey.”

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  • brett

    Love the “straight cash” reference. Anyway, I think the Miggida miggida miggida Moss deal is a pretty good one. He’ll probably behave himself for one year and contribute. No guaranteed money, so it’s not a big risk.

  • Nicholas Stumpf

    Randy Moss Own The NFL With Brady!!!

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