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April 2, 2012

[Business Day One] Just A Quick Thought On The Dance

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , — Serpico @ 1:13 pm

The problem with the pervasiveness of March Madness Brackets is that the pain of “early bracket irrelevancy” drives casual fans from watching the Final Four. Especially when your boss at work is still in contention to win and reminds you of your dreadful lack of gambling bona fides.

March 26, 2012

[Business Day One] Times That Are, In Fact, A’Changin’

Well well well. The internet’s still here. I swore this whole thing would’ve flamed out by now, but here it still is. Looks like the ol’ site is here too. Hello readers! I’m Serpico! And I write about sports, the business of sports, and fan reaction to sports. At least, I did, way back when. And I suppose I ought to do it again.

So let’s jump right in, shall we?

The big news this weekend is Tiger Woods-related, and I’m so happy to be able to write that. (more…)

March 5, 2012

[Business Day One] Faux Serpico

Filed under: Business Day One — Tags: , , , , , , , — Willis @ 9:41 am

One random thing from the major sports:

1) Football – The NFL Combine was last week and QB mega-prospect Robert Griffin III (RG3) was in Indy tearing up the competition. He was the fastest QB in the pack (at 4.41 seconds) in the 40-yard dash. I was timed a few years ago running the 40. That year my time of 5.60 would have been the slowest at the combine, but this year there are three 325+ pound offensive linemen that had a slightly slower time. I’ll consider that a win in my book.

2) Boston College – I’d be remiss in discussing the combine and not bringing up the top tackler in the nation and only BC invitee, Luke Kuechly. He out-performed expectations and looks to be drafted somewhere in the middle of the first round — Probably to Arizona or Philadelphia, but there’s a chance he could end up in my home state on the New Jersey Jets.

3) Baseball – Mets first baseman, Ike Davis, is rumored to have Valley Fever.

Valley Fever is a fungal disease that affects the lungs and has similar symptoms as the flu or a cold. It can sometimes cause a rash. It can also sometimes be deadly to someone with a weak or compromised immune system, spreading from the lungs to other parts of the body. It is most common in “dry desert areas of the southwestern United States, central California, and Mexico.”

What Ike probably needs is just some rest and to eat his green vegetables. My I suggest a delicious green bean infused sandwich called the Chacarero: A Chacarero is a traditional Chilean sandwich. It begins with homemade bread. The main ingredient is either tender grilled steak or chicken (or both). Then with your main ingredient, add steamed green beans, which gives it that authentic Chilean touch, Muenster cheese and fresh tomatoes. After that, add an avocado spread, salt, pepper & a secret hot sauce recipe to complete the sandwich.

Chacarero Sandwich

The perfect cure to whatever ails you

4) Basketball – Linsplotation of the linsanity craze is still going strong. Check out this bar poster for Ginasanity:

Jeremy Collins Ginsanity Poster

5) Hockey – The Bruins are having some terrible luck at the moment with missed calls by the refs and what seems like half the team out with an injury. It’s mostly just sad watching these games, so make sure you have a nice pint of Ben & Jerry’s if you plan to watch any of their upcoming games.

6) Faux Serpico – If you hadn’t noticed, this post wasn’t by the world renown Serpico. It was done to show how nice it would be to have him sharing his Boston, Boston College, and sandwich love with the world again.

September 28, 2009

[Business Day One] Prepare for Idle Chatter

Team, here’s a quick update of the points that may be discussed in your office today. So read these and enjoy your new state of well-informedness.

-Jets QB Mark Sanchez is now sporting a creepy pencil-thin mustache.

-49ers RB Frank Gore hurt himself on his first play of the game, enraging fantasy owners everywhere.

-Brett Favre continues to just go out there and have fun… as he likes to remind us at every opportunity.

-The Titans are now 0-3, which was unexpected.

-There’s a radio commercial that has a chorus singing about Coors Light over the Monday Night Football theme. It’s hilarious.

-The Yankees have clinched the AL East and homefield advantage through the playoffs. Helpful.

-Tom Brady and the Patriots had a good outing against the well-educated Matt Ryan and the Falcons, calming the fans of New England.

-Tiger Woods just won ten million dollars.

September 21, 2009

[Business Day One] The Dawning Of The Age of Sanch-quarius

Filed under: Business Day One,Football — Tags: , , , , , — Serpico @ 1:35 pm

Times are changing in Boston.  We’ve now gotten new train maps (finally), and we’ve finally taken care of that holier-than-thou football attitude.

The Patriots are mortal once more, for the first time since Drew Bledsoe lumbered around in the pocket.  I’m not going to waste my time talking about why (since you all know why – major surgeries, hole in the middle of the defense, slot receiver injuries), but I will take a moment to note something that some fans forget about.

Fans grow weary of champions.  They’d rather watch a team rise (the Jets) or a team fall (the Patriots) than a dynasty.  Dynasties are boring, and only entertain 1/30th of the fans.

Whether or not the Pats continue to stay down, I am certain that talk of their presumed decline will be far richer than the thin broth that the media woould give them after a victory.

September 14, 2009

[Business Day One] 808s and Heartbreak

Oh Kanye.  You’ve gotten so good at embarrassing white folks on stage.  And I’m so glad you did it again this week, to ceremonially kick off the football season – a season where embarrassment is sure to be one of the most important topics.  And boy did the season start off strong for that.

1.  Bad News – Long snappers are like third base coaches.  You don’t ever want them in the news.  Bears LSer Patrick Mannelly decided to overstep his responsibilities in humiliating fashion by calling a direct snap to the fullback on 4th-and-long in Bears territory.  Perhaps he saw a hole in the Packers front (there wasn’t one) or that a twelfth man was on the field (there was almost one… but there wasn’t one).  Either way, everyone knows your name now, Patrick.  And from what I hear, Chicago isn’t a friendly town.

2.  See You In My Nightmares – The Richard Seymour trade fiasco was profoundly embarrassing, to be sure.  But not in the way one would initially think.  Richard Seymour has nothing to be embarrassed about; he was smart and avoided the media completely until everything came to rest.  The Patriots have nothing to be embarrassed about, since they weren’t going to sign him next year anyway, and they were able to get a first rounder in 2011 for him.  No, the shame here falls like an unforgiving spotlight on the Oakland Raiders.  In the wake of reports that Oakland Coach Tom Cable put a great form tackle on an assistant, we now had a story about someone refusing to show up to work in the Black Hole even though he had to.  There was rampant speculation that Seymour didn’t want to head to the Raiders because the place was a toxic environment.  Media pundits took their obligatory shots at owner (and ageless horror) Al Davis for paying out the nose for a past-his-prime defensive end for a team with no playoff hopes.  I’ve listened to at least three different radio sports duos talk about how wretched it must be to be a fan of the Raiders.  That right there is embarrassment.

3.  Coldest Winter– My boss is beating me by a solid 100 points in Fantasy Football this week, thanks to Drew Brees (his QB) throwing for six touchdowns, the Philly Defense (his D) destroying Carolina, and Donovan McNabb (my QB) cracking a rib.  I’ve never seen a pounding like this in fantasy.  This is savage.  My co-workers offered me condolences, and they were serious.  There’s nothing worse in fantasy sports than to be pitied.  And this week, I am pitied.

4.  Welcome to Heartbreak– Who Dey?  The Denver Broncos.  The Cincinnati Bengals were humbled this week by the last minute and totally unexpected heroics of Brandon “He’s Still On A Roster” Stokley.  The Denver wideout caught a tip and then had the brains to run out the clock a bit before stepping into the end zone.  Hateful, Brandon.  Hateful.  Since America got such a hearty (and heartfelt) dose of the Bengals during Hard Knocks, I think the last minute loss was felt a bit more personally.  The viewing public knows (as much as you can know someone on reality TV) these guys, and they’re got to feel that thick, chunky kind of embarrassment you feel for a friend.

5.  Paranoid – Despite winning a SuperBowl, no one in New York trusts Eli Manning.  Not to helm a football team, not to mow a lawn, not to drive to Newark Airport from the Meadowlands.  Every diehard Giants fan I know tends to think he could Delhomme with very little warning.  That’s got to be a scary and unfortunate way to live.  And even though he had a decent stat line in Week 1, I do not believe Eli is ever capable of fully securing the trust of the ancient and noble Giants Season Ticket Holders.  How embarrassing for him.

June 22, 2009

Business Day One – My Day At The Open

Filed under: Golf — Tags: , , — Serpico @ 12:51 pm

Happy Belated Father’s Day, Nerds.

My dad, in honor of both his special day and the best tournament in pro golf, took me to the U.S. Open at Bethpage. I soaked in the sights, sounds, and startling Golgotha-esque levels of mud and muck. For sake of both speed and thoroughness, I’m going to list out both the Stunning Highs (SH) and Astonishing Lows (AL) of my experience at the public course at Farmingdale. Here we go.

SH: The conditions of the fairways and greens. Everyone on the East Coast has been aware of the monsoon currently soaking the seaboard. What everyone is not aware of is that there are hundreds of men and women with hundreds of grass-drying tools constantly working to keep Bethpage playable. If nature was left to its own devices, the entire town would be underwater. But due to the magnificent interference of the bold water wickers, only about 99% of it is. The remaining 1% was where the best golfers in the world were.

AL: The mud has to go somewhere. And that somewhere was the grandstands and foot paths. I’m not mad or anything, since I was wearing a pair of throwaway sneakers. But still, being on your feet for seven straight hours and having those feet constantly in mud gave me a sense of what Valley Forge might’ve been like.

SH: The quality of the play. I saw Tiger nail a birdie, Phil nail two, and players from all over the world content with the conditions with impossible levels of skill.

AL: How terrible I am at golf. Watching the highest levels of play remind me why I hung up the soft cleats a couple years back. I can’t drive without an ugly slice. My short game doesn’t come into play until I’m already one over on the hole. And I keep equating my score with my self-worth.

SH: The food and drinks. Lemonade, stuffed pretzels, hot dogs, sandwiches of all sorts, served from concessions tents spread throughout the course.

AL: The press of people at those concession stands. The lunch rush was overwhelming, and since you couldn’t bring in food or drink, there’s a good chance you could wait in line for an hour to get water. Seems dangerous, considering the number of older folks that had been hoofing it around all day.

SH: An efficient bus transportation network that connected all of the satellite parking lots.

AL: Having to pay $35 to park at a gas station due to flooding.

SH: Seven hours with my dad.

AL: Seven hours trying to keep up with my dad.

SH: The noise from the New York gallery.

AL: The failure of the golfers to keep a straight face when hearing some of the comments.

And the biggest SH of all: My clubs are now in the trunk of my car.

June 10, 2009

[Business Day One] Papi’s Dead

Filed under: Baseball,Business Day One — Tags: , — Serpico @ 9:38 am

David Ortiz hit a homerun last night. His second of the year. He’s not back, and if you say he’s back, you haven’t been watching your baseball.

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