Nerds on Sports Where nerds are talking about sports!

April 15, 2008

The Nerds On Sports March Madness Grand Champion

Filed under: Nerd Tournaments — Tags: , , — Perich @ 1:07 pm

You’ve helped us slug through thirty-two impressive contenders, the best warriors that nerds have to offer. Now it’s down to the final two: BATMAN vs. LUKE SKYWALKER.

First Period

Luke SkywalkerBatman flung a handful of boomerangs, flash grenades and other sharp, distracting implements at Skywalker’s head. Skywalker parried them with his lightsaber and leapt across the court. He swung wildly, but Batman tumbled over his swings and rolled up behind him to kick him in the back.

Skywalker flung Batman against a stanchion with a Force push, then charged him with his saber flurrying. Pinned against the far wall, Batman narrowly avoided decapitation, but the tip of the laser sword shredded his armor from hip to shoulder.

The Dark Knight flipped his cape around to distract the Jedi and vanish. But Skywalker’s attunement with the Force meant that Batman’s stealth wouldn’t avail him. He pretended not to notice Batman hiding in the rafters – until he lashed out suddenly, severing a support pillar with his lightsaber, and knocking Batman off his perch.

Second Period

The Caped Crusader and the Jedi Knight circled each other warily.

This is what the arena looks like right before the home team starting 5 are announced“This is senseless,” Skywalker told him in calm tones. “You can’t possibly defeat me. Surrender now and save yourself the trouble.”

Batman’s response: flinging a bolo with one hand and a tear gas pellet with the other. Skywalker shredded the bolo, but the gas cloud enveloped him in thick white smoke. Batman lingered cautiously outside the cloud, his cape held over his face.

When Skywalker vaulted out of the cloud feet first, kicking Batman in the head, the Dark Knight was caught completely off guard. He sprawled backwards in a heap, fighting to clear his head. Skywalker watched him struggle, standing in the same spot Batman had stood seconds ago.

“Your thoughts betray you,” Skywalker said. “I feel the good in you, the conflict. I know that underneath that mask you’re a decent man.”

Palming the remote in his hand, Batman rolled onto his side. “No, I’m not.”

The micro-mine, lying in the spot where Batman had just been kicked from, beeped between Skywalker’s feet.

“Oh, sh–”

Winner and Grand Champion: BATMAN

BatmanThanks to the over 300 people who cast votes in this year’s tournament. We saw quite a few surprises and some epic matches thanks to your participation. Be sure to tune in for next year’s March Madness tournament, where a whole new roster of nerd icons will duke it out for that prestigious title – the Nerds on Sports March Madness Grand Champion.

  • I hope at some point you plan to regale us with numbers and percentages (because percentages aren’t numbers and everyone knows that). I want to know who was defeated in short work and what matches were extremely close.

  • This year’s Stephan Curry = Next year’s Zaphod Beeblebrox. Mark it.

  • Serpico

    All is right in the world.

  • Jaas

    Yeah, this couldn’t go any other way. The farmboy never stood a chance, galactic jesusknight or no.

  • angryed

    When I see percentages and probabilities mentioned on this site, they are woefully misused and misleading (in terms of the stats or odds chosen) and occasionally flat-out misrepresented, with things sometimes bending reality (probability of something happening/existing being larger than 1 or percentage chance/odds being larger than 100%) I guess that would make it sports math, since those guys are always giving 110% and shit.

    This reminds me- Why isn’t there more on gambling on this site? I am particularly referring to the sports that exist only for gambling- like dog or horseracing, or boxing, for that matter.
    Will can be the official NerdsonSports bookie and trick us with math and profit from it.

    At the very least, can’t we have a resident -a Matheterologist- someone who predicts numbers, or at least a Mathemetologist- someone who tarts them up with some makeup and makes them look good.

  • Frikkin’ hell. Can we retire Batman to the hall of fame next year, at least?

  • Batman: underestimated by people with superpowers since 1946.

    Also, you can always name your conferences after characters that are guaranteed to go far, so that Justin up there is placated. You could have Batman, Wolverine, Skywalker, Solo, Kirk, etc.

    For my part, although they’re all iconic and have name recognition, I’d love to see a conference named after something other than a white dude, whether that’s a lady (Catwoman, Leia), a person of color (Lando, Miyagi), or a fantastical beast (Unicorn, Cher).

  • BoP

    fantastical beast=Cher… nice

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