Tag: Video Games

March Madness – Nerds on Sports Style


Nerds on Sports is hosting its own March tournament – to see who’s the winner among all nerd icons. We sent out invitations to thousands of video game characters, comic book heroes and sci-fi action stars. Thirty-two responded and the tournament was formed.

You decide the winner – by voting in our scientific surveys!

Bracket #1: The Hyrule Conference

Bracket #2: The Paragon City Conference

Edit: Don’t forget to vote in both brackets!

The Hyrule Conference
Jack Bauer
Captain Jack Sparrow
Li Mu Bai
Master Chief
Buffy Summers
Paul Atredies
Captain James T. Kirk
Drizzt Do’urden
Major Kusanagi
Serra Angel
Snake Eyes
Mr. Incredible
The T-1000
Inigo Montoya

The Paragon City Conference
Paragon City
The Alien Queen
Indiana Jones
The Predator
Optimus Prime
Rick Deckard
Captain Lysander
Curt Schilling
Harry Potter
Solid Snake
Luke Skywalker
The Operative
Gordon Freeman

Cast your votes before midnight on Sunday the 16th. We’ll tally the winners, then move on to the next bracket on Tuesday the 18th.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, and Pitch.


Danica Patrick SwimsuitSo almost 2 weeks ago I retreated to my cave of depression and solitude after some certain footballing events. But the time and reflecting have pulled me out of hiding and back here to blabbering on about nothing. Aren’t you glad?

So to get you back in the mood for my posts, I’m going to start you off with some hot ladies. First off the Indy Car hottie and Go Daddy front woman — Danica Patrick. She’s what Sports Illustrated is using to rationalize the “sports” in the Swimsuit Edition this year. ????? ???? ?????? Check out the full spread and the interview with Dan Patrick (Yes, it’s hilarious that they have similar names — I can’t read the article without laughing. I also can’t stop the sarcasm.) Also, what’s with the granny panties in picture 33? Since this is swimsuit edition time, for more hotness check out the athlete’s wives section or the bodypainting section. Also you can read the interviews with each model so you can decide which ones are bitches.

After the hot women I want to mention some nerdy news. EA Games has extended their license with the NFL. So I guess they hope Madden stays alive for 5 more years and they don’t have to make many innovations. Don’t you love the “free market?” EA is a bitch.

I hear Uno (aka Ch. K-Run’s Park Me In First) the beagle was named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Tuesday night over some champion poodle bitches. First beagle to ever win the award at Westminster. One thing to note is that even though Snoopy is a beagle, he doesn’t look anything a beagle. This probably explains Snoopy’s lack of a Best in Show award (or even a Best in Class award). Actually Snoopy is nothing like a beagle. ??? ????? Uno walks on four legs and doesn’t fly around on his house. Uno doesn’t type notes on a typewriter — he uses his laptop. ????? ???? ??? He looks so cute when he’s working and wearing glasses.

Oh and one more thing: pitchers and catchers (no, it’s not gay) have reported to spring training and Josh Beckett is fat.

Video Game Fantasy Draft, Round 2 and the Rest


10 Link – Bobby

“As a multi-tool player, he’s got all the versatility I need. He’s a swimmer, comfortable in ice or heat environments and he’s a veteran that just keeps getting better with time.” – Bobby

Plus, his victory poses – done whenever he extends his lifespan, defeats a boss, or finds some ratty old leather pouch – can not be topped in its grandiosity. You don’t see me humming those memorable bars whenever I “discover” my lunch at work. Not since I had to switch jobs for…some reason, anyway.

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Video Game Fantasy Draft


With the next professional sports drafts many months away, Nerds On Sports is more than happy to satiate your needs for pointless ranking and and serpentine pick orders. An intrepid band of nine Internet brothers thoughtfully and methodically, and certainly not arbitrarily, chose characters and figures from the wide-ranging world of video games in order to form a team that would…um…I’m not sure. Most of my requests to clarify this issue were ignored. It was moot in the end anyway, as we weren’t even able to complete three rounds before the thread was abandoned and certain members tried to spread memes about Full House slash instead. Anyway, here’s the Round 1 analysis:

Snake? Snake. SNAAAAKKE!1 Solid Snake – Brett

“Why Snake:
He has a mullet.
He routinely takes on Hind D helicopters with nothing but a gun. (any MGS game)
He runs around high security military base in a cardboard box. (any MG game)
He can ride a skateboard as well as Tony Hawk. (see MGS3: Subsistence)” – Brett

Can’t fault Brett for this pick, especially since I want a cardboard box like that. It would be handy for, like, stealing t-shirts from a shopping mall kiosk, or getting adolescents into R rated movies. Can’t think of what else it would be good for.
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Kiss the Rings


Patriots Super Bowl RingYou ever wish you had a championship ring you could accidentally give to a Russian? ???? ???? ??? ????? Ever wish you had something tangible that you could wear to let everyone know how great you are at Madden? Perhaps you have wanted to hand over a weeks paycheck to EA Games? Are you a Yankees fan and desire a large jewel encrusted ring to use when you tell all other baseball fans to “kiss the rings?” Can your girlfriend whoop your ass in Madden and you’re looking for the perfect way to propose? Do you enjoy shelling out a few hundred bills for large flashy finger bling? ????? ?????? ??? ???? Are you deranged enough to think that one of these rings will make you cool? Is your name Sonic and are you a hedgehog? You think that if Peyton “get off my fucking TV” Manning can get a ring, so can you? Maybe you just want the world to know that you can dominate a computer?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions let me just say: What the fuck is wrong with you? Really? I would like to know. Send me an email at imcrazy AT nerdsonsports.com and let me know. Also for you I have this lovely link where you can learn about the little ring that Madden2008 will be offering.

Now if this were the “One Ring” or a ring of +2 agility then we’d be in business… but it’s not. ????? ??? ??????

Next year we can only hope for Madden 2009 Cock Rings. (“Ya like that? I’m gonna fuck you like I did the Colts in the Super Bowl!”)

I Once Heard That Golf Was A Sport

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Orange Dinosaur In Saugus, MAGolf is the businessman’s game of choice, because you can relax, drink heavily, and have conversation while still playing and not get sweaty. ?????? ??? At least that’s my guess, for I am no businessman. So I will let Tiger Woods and the businesspeoples of the world have their golf because I get my golf delivered in other forms,

First off there is miniature golf. It’s like regular golf if you decided to play regular golf in Holland* at a castle** that was probably previously owned by Dracula trying to defend himself from Mr. Belmont***. I like miniature golf because it doesn’t take nearly as long as regular golf and there’s no slicing into the woods off the tee. Also each hole is usually a surprise and you have to guess which of the 3 holes in the barn will place the ball closest to the cup on the lower level. Also, how many PGA courses have big orange dinosaurs?

For my next crazy golf event, I give you: Underwater Golf. Read More

Multimedia Blitz

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I have no unifying story today so I am just going to toss a bunch of links and info with fun sights and sounds at you.

Let’s start with Sound. Have you ever wondered how exactly to say “EA Sports. It’s in the game.”? Well Andrew Anthony, the guy behind the words, is willing to teach you.

(go here. Player removed.)

Next stop on the multimedia parade is Light, Read More

Madden ’08 Cover and Who Not to Draft in Fantasy Football


Vince Young during his great Texas daysIt’s official, Vince Young, a sophomore Quarterback on the Tennessee Oilers Titans will be the Madden Football Roster Update v2.008 cover model this year. And according to ESPN, (Yes, the same ESPN that decided that the first week of baseball didn’t happen and erased all reference to it in it fantasy site.) he wasn’t even the front runner. What does this honor get Mr. Young? Well, he gets his face on every different size of box and every console ever known to exist. (They make Madden for cell phones; I wouldn’t be surprised if they still made Madden for the Commodore 64.) He also gets to be in some Madden commercials.

What he also gets is cursed. Read More