Author: RJ

More later.

How far would you go for baseball tickets?


Apologies from a lack of updates on my end recently. I’d talk about why, but this ain’t LJ for chrissake. It’s a blog! Completely different! Anyway.

Recently the Brewers had a promotion giving away a pair of tickets for a future home game. The price? Bending over and relaxing. Now, having a family member who has been treated for prostate cancer, I am well in favor of men getting screened for this regularly, and if this provides the necessary incentive for them to do so, so be it. But, c’mon, the jokes. The jokes!

“Now the Brewers know what it feels like for a Red Sox fan to try and get tickets.”
“Milwaukee is getting more than opponents to bend over these days.”
“Today was Be A Baseball Player Day at Miller Park. Fans were unaware that they had to play catcher.”

Etc., etc.

Of course, sharp-eyed co-blogger Willis noticed this posting on the MLB Jobs Board. Coincedence? Bad fan reaction (I mean, more than the grimacing and clenching of fists that can be expected)?

While we’re in that region of the male anatomy, Here is an oldie but goodie about certain ball players and their #1 method for dealing with skin problems. Remind me not to shake their hands.

Papelbon’s Hummers

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Apologies for the lack of posts recently. I would like to make it up to you with something substantive, but that’s not going to happen until next Thursday at the earliest. Instead, I present you with Jonathan Papelbon’s commercial for 125 Auto, continuing in the great tradition of hysterical Red Sox commercials. This one, unintentionally so:

I still find in a little endearing, despite the fact he clearly memorized his lines ten minutes beforehand. Paps, stick to pitching, ok? You’re a lot less stiff and wooden out on the mound.

Broken Fantasy


I love my fantasy baseball league. Even beyond the awesome players, and the excellent commissioner, the online system itself has proven to be flexible and versatile to satisfy the unusual quirks of our own league. I’m not going to plug the company unless I get some money out of it, but suffice to say that it isn’t through ESPN, who recently released this statement.

We are sorry to have to make such an aggressive change, and fully recognize the impact this will have. This action was our only option because of the nature of the issues and their potential to compound if not addressed on a fundamental level. Ensuring the integrity of the season ahead for ALL players is tremendously important to us and this solution ensures that all players will be treated equally.

I did some research – after all, I wondered what could have happened that required such drastic measures – and found the following user comments on one of the various online forums I frequent: Read More

38 Pitches in a Win

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First week of baseball is officially over. Schilling picked up his first win, which was a nice change over the terrible outing on opening day. I’m sure soon enough Curt will have his analysis over at his blog, 38 pitches. Not that I think Schilling’s ego needs to be stroked any, but I find the fact that he does painstaking analysis of his own games to be quite amazing.

Don’t have a lot of anything else to say at the moment. I could complain about my fantasy baseball team (starting the season in 15th, yay!), but truthfully, nobody actually cares about that sort of thing. Only other people in your league do, in a schadenfreude sort of way.

Manny being Merlot


When I first heard about Red Sox wines, I thought it must clearly be a joke of some kind. April Fool’s Day isn’t too far gone, after all, and wine and baseball are not two things I usually associate with each other. But a quick look at the site reveals that the wines – “Manny Being Merlot” included – are all being sold to benefit Red Sox ballplayers’ favorite charities. CaberKnucle

There are obviously a lot of jokes that come to mind, the first of which being that it must take a special, one-of-a-kind, flown-in-from-San-Diego sommelier to uncork the CaberKnuckle, lest the cork goes bouncing all over, and the bottle passes through his/her hands and goes flying, and it decreases the wine’s intended value. Mostly, though, I am thinking up of ways to expand their brand; there are a lot of good combinations out there. Read More

Happy Baseball Day!


Ah, opening day. For the majority of baseball teams (except for the Cardinals, the Giants, the Mets and the Padres), today was the first official game of the season. In some circles, this is an official holiday, celebrated by calling in to work “sick,” sneaking off to the ballpark and enjoying a cold one as the first pitch is thrown out. Alas, I could not enjoy such festivities, but perhaps it’s for the best. I would not be thrilled to use up my vacation days and weaken my anemic travel budget just to travel to Kauffman Stadium and watch the Red Sox lose to the fucking Royals. Schilling got out-duelled by Gil Meche, whose ERA over the past three years averages to 4.834, and gave up 8 hits and 5 runs in only 4 innings. An inauspicious start, but remember: in 2004 the Sox lost their first game of the season – also away – 7-2 to the Orioles and Sidney Ponson.

Of course, the first game of the MLB actually happened yesterday, with Tom Glavine and the Mets being victorious over the Cardinals and Chris Carpenter. Having Carpenter on my team, I was grumpy to no end, muttering the words “fire sale” in reference to my roster. Then, while driving my way home, one of my windshield wipers broke. Perhaps it’s an omen, or some metaphor for and unclear perspective or lack of vision. I ended up replacing both my wiper blades today; the result: my team did okay, and one of my opponents this week did terribly. The moral of the story is: get your car’s maintenance checked regularly.

O Captain, My Captain

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Jason Varitek might be first in my heart, but he’s coming off an awful spring training. He batted a whopping .103 while in Florida, which included an 0-17 streak. One mustn’t extrapolate too much from this. He did, after all, hit as many home runs while there as Albert Pujols. But the next few months will be the test as to whether his work with batting coach Dave Magadan has done anything to halt the precipitous drop in power and offense he had last year.

But don’t worry. I still love you, JV. Read More