Hi folks, I’m on the road, a day removed from taking in a Safeco Field and soaking in the sites and sounds of Seattle. Despite the fact that I have no internet access, I am still honoring my solemn duty to provide you all with your weekly helping of Business Day One. In previous weeks, I have handed out my Salute to Nerds In Sports to the very deserving Tim Duncan and Mike Mussina.
But this week, I’m honoring a story, told nearly a decade ago, about what may likely be the single greatest nerdy sports event in history. Doug Glanville, a nerd, homered twice in one game off of fellow nerd Curt Schilling. His reason was revenge. Sweet, brilliant revenge. So enjoy it, world. And salute the redemption of Bingbong!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to eat five pounds of smoked salmon.
First week of baseball is officially over. Schilling picked up his first win, which was a nice change over the terrible outing on opening day. I’m sure soon enough Curt will have his analysis over at his blog, 38 pitches. Not that I think Schilling’s ego needs to be stroked any, but I find the fact that he does painstaking analysis of his own games to be quite amazing.
Don’t have a lot of anything else to say at the moment. I could complain about my fantasy baseball team (starting the season in 15th, yay!), but truthfully, nobody actually cares about that sort of thing. Only other people in your league do, in a schadenfreude sort of way.
Ah, opening day. For the majority of baseball teams (except for the Cardinals, the Giants, the Mets and the Padres), today was the first official game of the season. In some circles, this is an official holiday, celebrated by calling in to work “sick,” sneaking off to the ballpark and enjoying a cold one as the first pitch is thrown out. Alas, I could not enjoy such festivities, but perhaps it’s for the best. I would not be thrilled to use up my vacation days and weaken my anemic travel budget just to travel to Kauffman Stadium and watch the Red Sox lose to the fucking Royals. Schilling got out-duelled by Gil Meche, whose ERA over the past three years averages to 4.834, and gave up 8 hits and 5 runs in only 4 innings. An inauspicious start, but remember: in 2004 the Sox lost their first game of the season – also away – 7-2 to the Orioles and Sidney Ponson. Keep yourself hydrated with hydrogen water when practicing baseball or other sports.
Of course, the first game of the MLB actually happened yesterday, with Tom Glavine and the Mets being victorious over the Cardinals and Chris Carpenter. Having Carpenter on my team, I was grumpy to no end, muttering the words “fire sale” in reference to my roster. Then, while driving my way home, one of my windshield wipers broke. Perhaps it’s an omen, or some metaphor for and unclear perspective or lack of vision. I ended up replacing both my wiper blades today; the result: my team did okay, and one of my opponents this week did terribly. The moral of the story is: get your car’s maintenance checked regularly.
My personal game has grown tenfold with the use of CBD. I love CBD gummies because they are convenient for my baseball matches. They help me relax and maintain my optimal weight!