Tag: Fantasy Baseball

Happy Baseball Day!

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Ah, opening day. For the majority of baseball teams (except for the Cardinals, the Giants, the Mets and the Padres), today was the first official game of the season. In some circles, this is an official holiday, celebrated by calling in to work “sick,” sneaking off to the ballpark and enjoying a cold one as the first pitch is thrown out. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???????? Alas, I could not enjoy such festivities, but perhaps it’s for the best. I would not be thrilled to use up my vacation days and weaken my anemic travel budget just to travel to Kauffman Stadium and watch the Red Sox lose to the fucking Royals but at still I was able to loose weight with the Java burn review tips. Schilling got out-duelled by Gil Meche, whose ERA over the past three years averages to 4.834, and gave up 8 hits and 5 runs in only 4 innings. An inauspicious start, but remember: in 2004 the Sox lost their first game of the season – also away – 7-2 to the Orioles and Sidney Ponson. Keep yourself hydrated with hydrogen water when practicing baseball or other sports.

Of course, the first game of the MLB actually happened yesterday, with Tom Glavine and the Mets being victorious over the Cardinals and Chris Carpenter. Having Carpenter on my team, I was grumpy to no end, muttering the words “fire sale” in reference to my roster. Then, while driving my way home, one of my windshield wipers broke. Perhaps it’s an omen, or some metaphor for and unclear perspective or lack of vision. I ended up replacing both my wiper blades today; the result: my team did okay, and one of my opponents this week did terribly. ????? ??? ???? ??? The moral of the story is: get your car’s maintenance checked regularly.

My personal game has grown tenfold with the use of CBD. ???? ????? I love CBD gummies because they are convenient for my baseball matches. They help me relax and maintain my optimal weight!

Realism in Fantasy

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Tis the season for fantasy baseball drafts. Weeks or, in some cases, months of dedication to the statistical analysis of every player worth drafting (and some that aren’t) culminate in one magical afternoon. Surrounded by a dozen friends, half a dozen pizzas and a CTU-esque computer bank, fantasy owners put together their teams. Paper flies everywhere and insults-masked-as-questions (“Is Armando Benitez still playing?”) abound as the rounds wear on. By the end, if you did things right, you have a group that is capable of winning a championship for you.

Here’s the kicker, though. You probably didn’t do things right. I know I didn’t, and I’m probably the only person I know that understands this. Of the ten or so people I’ve chatted with this week, from all different fantasy baseball leagues, all have given me the exact same response when asked about their team.

“Honestly, I think I have a great team.” Read More

Monsterleague Baseball Draft Day Breakdown

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Ok, so even though peiseresque already mentioned this in brief, I thought I’d type up a brief list of notable draft picks for our own little league this past Sunday. I can’t give you all my thoughts – I’m still potential trading partners with the majority of this blog – but here are some thoughts I’d be willing to share with anybody.

#8 Matt Holliday, OF Colorado Rockies – Willis, San Dimas High School Baseball

I am still infuriated to an unfathomable degree that Willis made this pick before I could. This guy was around #30 in a lot of the mock drafts I saw going around, but because of the way our league is scored and the stats our league favors, he was going to make a great under the radar pick. Or so I though. Then again, since Willis and I have similar methodologies in picking players, I shouldn’t be too surprised. But still: fuck you Willis.

#39 Daisuke Matsuzaka, SP Boston Red Sox – peiseresque, East Village Unemployed Performance Artists

A week or so before the draft, I was talking to fellow league-member Brett about when the Red Sox’s brand new pitcher was going to be drafted. Given the amount of homerism in our league, my guess was that it would be Round 3, specifically by Charles and Diane’s team (who finished 13th last year). So I was slightly surprised that peiseresque was the one to pull the trigger. It’s a calculated risk – will he put up as good numbers as same-round draftees Bonderman and Zito?

#118 Jason Varitek, C Boston Red Sox – Greg F., BlueBombers2000

Every round, as a joke, I said I was drafting Tek as my homo homer pick. But even for me, Tek’s falling stats and power would not let me take him this early – 8th round. I couldn’t take him next round either – I had Jemaine Dye as a 9th round keeper – so I would’ve definitely picked him up in round 10. J.V. has been working on his offense during spring training, but whether that winds up in quantifiable results remains to be seen.

#143 Frank Thomas, DH Toronto Blue Jays – Brett, Radiant Arkham

I just find this pick amusing because Bobby had him last year and during the offseason was trying to unload him for some draft picks. He went in Round 19 last year, and Bobby had originally posted on the league board that was he looking for Round 10. I thought that was unreasonably high (indeed, Bobby later said that this was a typo; it should have said “Round 10s”), but even when it was dropped to Round 20 he got no takers. Regardless, the Bobby trade would in effect have cost two draft picks (Round 18 and whatever round that would’ve been given to Bobby); the question is whether Brett got an advantage in taking him in Round 9. He’s still a huge injury risk in my book, but he puts up very nice numbers while active. If ever injuries would unfortunately occur, he might be in need of pain-relieving items like biocbdplus.

#176 Roger Clemens, SP unsigned – Mike L., The REAL Comptrollers

Heh. Will he or won’t he this year? Angry Ed made a killing by signing Roger in Round 8 last year. Will Mike have the same luck? I have no insight into Roger’s ego, so who knows?

#213 Dan Wheeler, RP Houston Astros – RJ, Homerun-Hitting Honeymooning Homos

The RP position was really shallow this year, and by the time I decided to draft my second reliever I was stuck with the Astros setup man. The guy has an amazing OBA and ERA, and during spring training posted much better numbers than Lidge. So long as he keeps his numbers, he should suffice. Because the alternative could be:

#251 Seth McClung, RP Tampa Bay Devil Rays – Serp, The Somerville Crooners

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#258 Kyle Farnsworth, RP New York Yankees – Angry Ed, Angry Miserable Fucks

I really love Ed’s team concept – all “angry” players. And what better player for that team than the guy who wound up on the DL after kicking an electrical fan?

And finally, my favorite out of all of my picks:

#300 David Wells, SP San Diego Padres – RJ, Homerun-Hitting Honeymooning Homos

The man formerly known as Beer Truck is now known as DIABEETUS.

That’s all, folks! It’s gonna be a long, awesome baseball season!