Tag: Barry Bonds

Dear Barry Bonds, The Truth is Coming

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So, if you haven’t noticed by now, I am scheduled to post on Wednesdays. Of course, I usually put off the bulk of the writing until I get home from work on Wednesday so the article doesn’t get posted until midnight. But even then I still feel I meet my self-imposed deadline. This week was no different, I started doing some research for my article after work yesterday (Wednesday). ?????? ???? ??????? Little Barry Bonds and Big Barry BondsMy goal was to compare the 2007 Gold Glove winners to other players using different defensive metrics, to see how sometimes a great player gets screwed. It was a pain in the ass to get this data. Baseball Prospectus didn’t really have a good report for FRAA, fielding percentage, and other fun fielding stats. So, I asked my good buddy Google for some help. Lo and behold, someone else wrote my article for me. Go read that fucker’s blog.

Well, I gave up and went to bed. Hoping that I could come up with something else for today. Thankfully, the United States attorney’s office for the Northern District of California made my choice for a story easy. Mr. Barry* Bonds* has been indicted on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice. Read More

Mozart’s Next Hit Single


Jonathan Lee Riches© “Secured Party” D/B/A “The White Suge Knight”
Barry Bonds, Allan H. “Bud” Selig, Hank Aaron’s Bat

Now Barry Bonds conducts his illicit business at an I-70 Steak and Shake. Jonathan Lee Riches© RIDES AGAIN! I wish I had more to say, but this really stands on its own. ????? ??????? Hopefully, this will bring down Bonds, Selig, Novak, Hank Aaron’s bat, and those wily nuns.

I do have one question: why did Barry Bonds open his “steroid house” in South Bend? And how did this not implicate any Notre Dame football players? ??? ????? ????? We’ll turn on the investigative journalism flashlight over at Touchdown Jesus’s place and get back to you, dear reader, with the hard-fought truth. It’s out there; Jonathan Lee Riches© isn’t the only one who can ferret it out. ????? ?????? ??? ????????

He Had A Hammer

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When Hank Aaron tied and subsequently broke Babe Ruth’s record of 714 Home Runs, the socio-political backdrop involved a great deal of deeply entrenched racism. Hammerin’ Hank played in the South, and his career spanned Brown and Swann— the heyday of the Civil Rights movement, as the Supreme Court dragged the American people into the present, into reality, kicking and screaming. The novel concept that people are people, nobody’s got a god-given right to be held above a fellow human- that took a while to sink in, and still hasn’t quite fully done so. Racism will, sadly, forever dog American history, and will never be fully expelled from our society. Indeed, it’s one of those troubling real-world things that baseball is designed to help us escape. Baseball’s just a game, baseball’s more than a game, baseball is tied to our national soul, baseball’s been racist, baseball’s atoned, baseball will never fully atone.

Hank Aaron’s first two home runs of 1974 were surrounded by death threats, bigotry, excitement, and downright jubilation. It seems terribly exciting- if anyone who remembers it first-hand would comment here I’d appreciate it. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of an internet in 1974, and pretty much anything contemporaneous about Hank that’s worth reading involves paid archives. So here’s a link to his well-crafted Wikipedia page and the suggestion that you go out and read something about Hank at your local library. He was a quiet, likable titan of sport, from all accounts. Hank played in the Negro Leagues, the “separate but equal” place to see damn fine baseball through most of the 20th Century, at the beginning of his career, and went from there to a long career as one of the super-elite three or four most consistent offensive producers in baseball’s history (Ruth, Williams, Cobb, I’d say).

Here’s a teaser for what looks to be a pretty decent documentary on Hank’s time with the Eau Claire Bears: Youtube.

And now Barry Bonds. He’s tied Aaron. The internet has it covered. He’s no pioneer, he’s a cheater, he’s a terrific hitter, he’s a circus, he’s ultimately a letdown. I prefer to cling to 755 as the important number, wherever Barry ends up, and to celebrate Aaron, and pretty much agree with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Terrence Moore:

Actually, Aaron is still in it, but in a wonderful way. Whenever those among the public hear Bonds’ name, either positively or negatively, they usually hear Aaron’s name soon afterward. Not only that, when Aaron’s name does surface during conversations involving Bonds, Aaron’s name often is surrounded by implied hugs and kisses. In fact, Bonds once told me with a smile at his locker at San Francisco’s AT&T Park, “I’m helping to keep Hank’s name out there.”

That’s nice of Bonds, but Aaron really doesn’t need his help. For 23 Hall of Fame seasons without the hint of scandal, the eternal king of home-run kings helped himself, thank you.

Unlike George Herman Ruth last time around, Aaron’s still alive, and I think he’s been pretty classy- all things considered. We can only speculate what Ruth would have said or done in April 1974, but I personally doubt he would have taken things in stride; I mean, I get pissed when my bar trivia scores get beaten, I can’t imagine if I had the all-time home run record.

Can’t wait to see how Barry handles it. C’mon, A-Rod.

[Business Day One] Verges and Cusps


I woke up this morning to a busy sports world. Or, rather, a sports world that is about to become very busy. It seems as if a hundred different, sports-important things are about to take place over the next 24 hours.  I’m going to look at what I’m seeing at the Top Four.

-Barry Bonds is about to tie Hank Aaron.

-Alex Rodriguez is about to hit 500.

-One of the Michael Vick “co-conspirators” is about to enter a plea (and assuredly testify against Vick).

-Sources are reporting that a Kevin Garnett deal is imminent (WEEI reports it has already happened).

Heck of a way to start the work week, really. Of those four potentially huge “unfolding over the next day” stories, only one of them has some positives ramifications. Bonds is about to tie to most hallowed record in sports and there are doubts whether the commissioner of baseball will even be there. Football’s most athletically gifted quarterback is having his camp start to turn on him. And one of basketball’s most historically significant teams is about to demolish it’s future for a two year championship window. Looks like A-rod will be shouldering all of the positive sports energy of this early week.

That is, unless Jose Canseco’s hard-hitting investigation has anything to say about it.

If we fold the implied steroid allegations into the A-rod story, that means that four of the top stories in sports right this second are negative or somehow tainted. I’m not going to throw up my hands and lament the death of purity – it’s not even 10 a.m. yet for me. But this is something that makes me stop for a second and shrug.

It’s Monday morning, and we have to take some bitter coffee with our milk and sugar.

[Business Day One] We Could Use A Break


Major League Baseball’s All-Star Break elicits the same response from me every year.

“Holy crap, the season’s half over?”

Every single summer, without fail, I get completely surprised by the All-Star Break. As with all things I dislike in the world, I blame the media. For the first two months of the season, whenever a sports commentator talks about a team’s momentum or a player’s hitting slump, they always attach the “but it’s still early” rider on the end. Then, for two weeks, sports analysts don’t make reference to how far into the season we are and we as fans just sort of forget. And all of a sudden, we start hearing “coming into the All-Star Break.” What?!?!?! Already?!!?! But the season was still young two weeks ago? Read More

[Business Day One] A Wish List


I had a dream last night about the end of the world. No joke. I was at a dock in Florida, talking to some people I knew, when we started hearing the detonations of atomic bombs in the distance. A giant tidal wave slammed into the harbor where I was, destroying the boats in the water and homes on the hills. And, in that way you just know things in dreams, I knew this was happening all over the country. Waking up in a cold sweat this morning (or was that ocean water), I was thankful to be alive. ??? ???? ???????? I started going through the mental list of all the things that weren’t actually destroyed that I was happy about. Family, friends, hobbies, burritos and the sweet escape of sport.

Scared to go back to sleep right away, I kept my mind occupied by thinking about what I want to see happen in the world of sports, now that I had a new lease on life. I crafted a Wish List that I want to present here to the Gods of Sport, that they may hear and abide. So, mighty and just Gods of Sport, hear me, for I seek only what will make your purview stronger!

Please allow the Spurs to win in four games.

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[Business Day One] Saving The Drama For One’s Mamma


Lou Piniella Yelling at an UmpMay has been an interesting month in the world of sports, and June is shaping up to be the same. Sure, the Stanley Cup Finals are going on, the NBA finals are just starting, and baseball is nearing midseason, but that’s not what’s making it all so interesting. The really compelling thing is the media coverage, which has trended towards sensationalism more than I’ve ever seen in the past. For me, May was a watershed month. For the first time in my adult life, I looked at SportsCenter as a television last resort instead of an integral part of my television day.

I’m at my wits’ end and I don’t think I can take this anymore. Sports reporting has had little or nothing to do with actual sports for over a month. Beat writers are finding stories about sluggers canoodling with ex-strippers, dugout fistfights, and the racial impact of black guys hard-fouling white guys. Oh sure, they throw a highlight in of an actual play on ESPN or make mention that a game was played in the papers. But I haven’t been able to sit down and watch a clean, “sport first” television show since sometime in April.

Well, if that’s the evolution of coverage in this over-saturated media of ours, so be it. ???? ????? ????? I have to adapt with the times. And I think the first step towards that is taking stock of the top stories. I’ve picked six that have received most of the sports coverage over the past few days, and I’m going to score them in three categories: Coverage Level, Entertainment Factor, and Sports Value. Scale of 1 to 5.

Let’s dance:

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