At Shea on Monday night, I learned two things: (1) the campaign for Paul Lo Duca, All-Star is in full swing- this kind of thing is, of course, commonly known as “just being greedy;” and (2) a cathartic win like that is much better in person- even if followed up the next day by an absolute drubbing.

All-Star voting strikes me as both awesome and stupid- awesome because, hey, up with people; stupid because, hey, people are dumb. But there’s a new campaign brewing which could single-handedly derail the entire democratic process, turn night into day, and bring dogs, cats, and birds together into some monstrous type of anti-human alliance.

Vote For Sal. Yes, Sal. Fasano. Click it.

You see, the power of Sal has -finally!- been mathematically proven. The other day Sal was designated for assignment. As a direct result, and I swear this is scientifically accurate, the Blue Jays lost 10-1 to the Dodgers. How can you ignore such overwhelming evidence? Sal Fasano will likely be out of baseball in 4 days- unless he makes the All-Star team! Despite not playing for any major league baseball club! No conceivable outcome would do more to undermine the fan-voting process and show the world that YOU truly deserved to be Time Magazine’s Person of the Year.

Change the world. Vote for Sal. Deprive the Long Island Ducks of a catching prospect.

Postscript: Holy shit.