Team, here’s a quick update of the points that may be discussed in your office today. So read these and enjoy your new state of well-informedness.

-Jets QB Mark Sanchez is now sporting a creepy pencil-thin mustache.

-49ers RB Frank Gore hurt himself on his first play of the game, enraging fantasy owners everywhere.

-Brett Favre continues to just go out there and have fun… as he likes to remind us at every opportunity.

-The Titans are now 0-3, which was unexpected.

-There’s a radio commercial that has a chorus singing about Coors Light over the Monday Night Football theme. It’s hilarious.

-The Yankees have clinched the AL East and homefield advantage through the playoffs. Helpful.

-Tom Brady and the Patriots had a good outing against the well-educated Matt Ryan and the Falcons, calming the fans of New England.

-Tiger Woods just won ten million dollars.