Tag: NASCAR

“Car 54, Where Are You?”

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He’s back at it again. To be sure, he never stopped. Jonathan Lee Riches, the “Litigator Crusader,” f/k/a “the White Suge Knight,” d/b/a “Secured Party” will not be denied:

Plaintiff compels this court to issue an injunction against Jeff Gordon and stop him from: Sticking my head in his exhaust pipe, wife swapping with Jimmie Johnson, picking on kids with big wheels and go carts, driving off without paying at Sunoco stations.

I’m pretty sure this is just becoming how he reacts to something he’s not happy about in the Williamsburg Federal Correctional Institution. Somebody’s watching TV and the volume’s too high? Sue the TV set. Awoken by a tire screech? Sue Jeff Gordon. Riches is (perhaps I’m overreaching here) fairly smart about it, however; he keeps changing venue, thus potentially avoiding some sanctions, not pissing off the same clerk twice, and diversifying the pool of courtroom beat reporters who might pick him up for the mainstream press.

It seems to me that this suit was, measured from filing, the fastest to hit a major media outlet. When I want press, I’ll talk about NASCAR. But I’m gonna try to avoid being “baseless, fantastic and delusional.”