The Wit of Mel Kiper, Jr; The Experience of Mel Kiper, Sr


Apparently, the big news in the NFL is over expert fantasy drafts (source: These aren’t just your mom & pop’s beer-and-pretzels fantasy leagues. Oh, hell, no. These are “the most prominent online and print companies” (including, oddly enough,, the same guys who tell each other that this is Drew Brees’ year over coffee and crullers every August.

Sadly, your NerdsOnSports football correspondent was moving this weekend, so we didn’t submit our picks in time. But I’ve had it with Michael Fabiano’s whiny voicemails, so I’ll post late and let you compare our picks against the experts.

1. Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chefs. It’s between him and Ladainian first round, and I always go with a JoePa boy if I can help it.

2. Peyton Manning, QB, Baltimore Indianapolis Colts. I know, I know – Peyton Manning’s not that great of a quarterback. But this is fantasy football, remember? You get points for completion yards, even if you consistently choke in the red zone. This is the biggest scam since the Teapot Dome and I’m getting in on the ground floor. Peyton’ll add an easy 4,000 yards to my yearly tally. Plus, I know he’s not getting arrested.

3. Steven Jackson, RB, St. Louis Rams. I’m going to get east of Nashville eventually; for now, I’m picking strong West Coast runners.

4. Chester Taylor, RB, Minnesota Vikings. Another in the long line of pretty good players who got very good when they left the Ravens (Priest Holmes, Rod Woodson, countless others).

5. Laveranues Coles, WR, New York Jetropolitans.

6. Todd Heap, TE, Baltimore Ravens. HEAP!

7. Cadillac Williams, RB, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. I’m presuming at this point that I have to pick against the bottom of the bin.

8-14. Some variety of QBs and RBs. I let my girlfriend’s cat submit the rest of these picks. Provided she doesn’t engineer any loopy trades with’s Michael Irvin, I’m confident.

15. Baltimore Kicker (are we playing in a league where I have to name the kicker, or is it just “this team’s kicker”?)

16. Chicago defense.