Obscure Sports (Quarterly? Annual? Whenever?)
And now, selected news from the ‘lesser’ sports!
US U-19 Team threepeats as World Champs! Too bad Mike Nifong wasn’t around to give them some publicity. Lacrosse will hit the popular media only once more, but by then it will be too late.
New Sponsor for the PBA! Bowling’s not obscure, per se, but its prominence in the firmament of broadcast sporting events seems to have been compromised. Used to be bowling was on all the time, on the ABC or the CBS network; I would see balding men in neatly pressed pants hurl weighty objects every time Grandpa dozed back off during ‘Muppet Babies,’ because I couldn’t muster the strength to turn that gigantic atomic-age channel selector wheel, and thank the good Lord he at least finished chewing the donut this time. Anyway, bowling had a certain I don’t know what in French back then, with national TV coverage, kids having birthday parties at the local lanes (Joey, I know, it’s cool, my invite was lost in the mail) and the widespread availability of Carling Black Label and Schaefer, the beer of choice for guys who bowl and/or look like David Koechner.
Anyway, this article’s pretty upsetting, because the PBA is really, really excited about a sponsorship deal from CLR. You know, that stuff that you’re supposed to put in a comically oversized lab beaker and drown your shower head in, and then they expect you to use it to shower again, even though there’s obviously now a tremendous amount of patently toxic chemicals in every last drop coming out of that… that awful thing, and damn it we have to move again, don’t we. It was like this in Topeka, it was like this in Nashville. You need treatment.
Man, is that tragic. The deceased probably had to get all her Mexican antioxidant goodness from el jugo de pomegranate.
HIGH SCHOOL WRESTLING! SPECIFICALLY, 96 LB FINAL MATCH AT THE NEW YORK STATE DIVISION 2 WRESTLING CHAMPIONSHIP!
This lengthy YouTube clip–well the part where the kid’s face is being pressed into the ground– is pretty much how I remember high school gym class, but, 96 pounds at age 14? These guys are huge! Seriously, what a pair of fatties! Also, they apparently are very interested in having their heads in each others’ asses. Don’t bother watching beyond the first minute unless you’re one of these kids’ mothers (and if you are, might be a good idea to spring for some better youth wrestling shoes).
(Spoileralert: the kid in blue wins, both are then aggressively wedgied by the guys in the 160 pound division.)
(Last bit: There is an adult-spam comment on the YouTube page; this creeps me out.)