Tag: Patriots

[Business Day One] Level 99

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Some of my favorite memories of my childhood involve laying on my bedroom floor, with my head and shoulders against a bean bag chair, and playing Final Fantasy VI.  For hours on end after my homework was done, I’d lead my party into a desert or a field somewhere and just level up.  For those unfamiliar with the process, let me give you a run down.  A lot of role-playing games from that era (the mid-90s) followed a fairly straight-forward story arc.  Your main character would get a team together, go on a journey, battle villains along the way, learn some lessons and eventually confront the Main Bad Guy in an epic final battle.  The fine folks that programmed these games made assumptions about how strong your team would be (i. ??????? e. what level they were at) at any given point in the game and adjusted the relative difficulty of the villains accordingly.  So, at the beginning of the game, you’d come across angry slime piles that would pose a challenge to a Level 5 team.  At the halfway point, there’d be roving bandits that would threaten a Level 30 team.  By the end, you’re throwing down with stone golems that’d give a Level 55 team the business. ??????? ?????????   What I used to do is spend hours battling in minor skirmishes to built up my team’s level far beyond where the programmers figured I’d be at each step.  So I’d be slaying those slime piles with all my heroes at Level 10, dispatching bandits at Level 45 and crushing golems effortlessly at level 70.  I loved to be one step ahead of the game.  I loved it to the point where I’d spent 15 or 20 hours over the course of my week walking back and forth in a forest fighting tree elves to level up.  There’s just something about utter dominance over an enemy force that is so darned fun. ????? ??? ????

I suppose that’s why I am gleeful over the Patriots season.  It’s like they spent an entire weekend outside of Figaro Castle before their Week 1 game and have just been riding since then at a level unforseen by the programmers. Read More

Two Crazy People In A Moderately Sane World

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Mercury RisingHank
One guy played the game. The other guy didn’t. One guy still works in the business; the other one doesn’t. They both still have the itch, the passion, the unceasing desire to stand in the spotlight and earn their laurel as winner. And so both of these men bravely spout declarations and pronouncements without the plague of having to stop and listen to their words. It’s understandable when you’re out of the limelight for a long time, and then one day you get a phone call from a reporter, which becomes two, than three, than throngs. A fair mix of blowhards and enablers called national sports media remains all too eager to hold out the tape recorder and focus the camera. Mercury Morris, Hank Steinbrenner, welcome to the Quotable Club! Read More

Nothing Is Written

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On November 25, the Patriots met the Eagles for what was, at the time, the largest point spread in professional football in a game that didn’t involve an expansion team. With McNabb out, the bookies laid 23.5 points on the game, expecting another blowout. An onslaught of blitzes and three competitive quarters later, Brady looked rattled. The Patriots, taking grief for running up the score in the 4th in all other games, had to scramble to pull out a win.

All right. So the Pats had been shown to be vulnerable. But Belichick was a smart man; he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. Especially not against Baltimore. ????? ??? ??????

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[Business Day One] Stuffing and Potatoes

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Thanksgiving has, over the years, evolved into the perfect storm of sloth and gluttony.  The trip home is usually exhausting enough that you want to spend Thanksgiving Eve half asleep on an old high school buddy’s couch.  The gut-busting feast on Thanksgiving Proper is filling enough to make you remain sedentary for all of that night, most of Black Friday, and at least half of that Saturday.  The World of Sports has developed a symbiotic relationship with the World of Holiday Over-Indulgence, so as America digests, they can also watch early season NBA games, the final regular season college football games and the Packers take on the Lions.  Not a bad way to spent time otherwise spent reconnecting with family.  Anyway, all of this eating and sports watching put me in a position to make some pretty interesting observations:

– Jon Kitna has quietly evolved from a perfectly average, oft-overlooked quarterback into an insufferable douchebag over the past year.  Read More

Catching Up With The Home Teams – Boston Edition

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The Zakim BridgeI titled this post as “Boston edition,” but it’s not like there’s going to be another edition. I live in Boston and root for Boston teams. Then again, there is always the hope that someone else here will be a fan of another team and write a competing entry.

New England Patriots
Hey, the team is still undefeated. And peoples around the blogosahedron are waiting to watch the Patriots again when they are 16-0 (Deadspin, Bleacher Report, Blown Coverage, You Been Blinded, ArmchairGM). Now we can add Nerds on Sports to that list becaus: New England Patriots: 16-0 (18-0 if you count postseason).

So, it looks like the Patriots-Colts Pumped Soundgate Noisegate The Skipping Crowd Conspiracies Speakergate was just an issue with the broadcast. But, as a Patriots fan, I can’t believe that this is the truth until I get a bit more closure on the situation. I want a team of investigative reporters to sneak into the RCA Dome and set up some noise meters (like you would find at a terrible talent show to measure who the winner is) and record during games. If that doesn’t work, perhaps some sort of non-football competition between Manning and Brady. Maybe something involving being sexy and making shitloads of commercials. ???? ??????? My money is on Manning – Brady may out sexy him, but Peyton’s commercial making prowess is impressive. Read More

[Business Day One] Agony and Truth

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“So how was your weekend,” they would ask.
“I stood in the rain and watched my team die,” I would answer.

I hated to sound so morose, but there was nothing else I could say. Watching Boston College lose to Florida State on Saturday was the worst moment of my entire year, without a close second. I’m Handsome Matt Ryanlucky to be able to say that. I have my health, I get a paycheck and my family loves me. It is wonderful to think that my lowlight of the past 10 months is a game played by teenagers. Still, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

The men that represented my beloved alma mater were outplayed by men representing another alma mater. Their receivers were so much taller than our cornerbacks. Their defensive ends were faster than our offensive line could handle. Their secondary took away Matt Ryan‘s options. We couldn’t beat them that night. And it stung to see it. Watching a game like this is like spending three hours being dumped by your girlfriend. She is breaking up with you for all the right reasons and there’s nothing you can do but sit there and feel wrong.

Anyway, it’s two days later and my heart is on the mend. Read More

[Business Day One] A Series of Moments

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Thursday, October 25th / Weymouth, MA / 10:30 p.m.

The driving rain and swarming defense prevented Matt Ryan from taking to the air.  Bud Foster gameplanned it perfectly.  The Virginia Tech defensive ends and linebackers speed-rushed the offensive line for the first 55 minutes, preventing Ryan from planting his feet and throwing.  He was hurled to the soggy carpet over and over again as one of the best defenses in college football consistently beat the Boston College blockers.  On offense, the Hokies were doing enough to win.  Sean Glennon moved the ball just enough to get 10 points on the board against the Eagles.  It was agony to watch.

With five minutes left, I said goodbye to the two friends I was watching the game with and walked across the condo complex to my car.  I was silent and so was the black night around me.  Read More

Never Tell Me The Odds

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The Patriots have already delighted American football punditry with their 7-0 record. Could they make it to the playoffs undefeated?

Let’s consider their upcoming opponents:

Week 8: Washington Deadskins: Please. The only reason the Skins are 4-2 and not 3-3 is that the Cardinals couldn’t pull off a last-second field goal, losing to a team that had half their yardage. This isn’t the worst Redskins team of the last ten years, but that’s not saying much. Pats Win: 95%

Week 9: @Baltimore Colts: This will be the crucible. Less than 200 yards in the air is a slow Sunday for Peyton, and Addai should be back up to speed after lightly jogging over the Panthers in Week 8. The Colts have the 3rd best yardage in the league on both offense (399.7 gained) and defense (269.5 allowed). They’re only average against the rush, though, so let’s send healing thoughts towards Laurence Maroney’s groin (… what?). Pats Win: 50%

Week 11: @Heffalump Bills: Because this worked out so well for the Bills last time. It’s a division game so there should be more of a fight involved, but seriously. The gulf between 1st and 2nd in a division (the Bills with a .333 winning percentage; the Pats with a 1.000) has never been greater. Pats Win: 99.9996%

Week 12: Filthadelphia Eagles: There’s a chance that Tom Brady may instinctively recoil from such an ugly city, fearing to smudge his Armani. But I’m not counting on it. Brian Westbrook’s the only real threat here (Donovan McNabb managed to throw for as many yards as the lesser Manning when he faced the Giants, and still lost by 13) and injuries continue to plague him. Pats Win: 90%

Week 13: @Baltimore Ravens: If the Colts are a crucible, the Ravens are the hammer beating the Pats into shape. Baltimore will shut New England’s running game down. And in the air, Ed Reed’s already got 10 picks in 6 weeks of play. That being said, the stingiest defense in the world means little when your offense can’t produce. Both of Baltimore’s starting tight ends, Todd Heap and Daniel Wilcox, are doubtful (thigh and foot injuries, respectively). McNair can’t land a completion, and Boller has no pocket presence to speak of. Pats Win: 70%

Week 14: Pittsburgh Stillers: Last season’s Steelers, maybe. Pats Win: 80%

Week 15: New York Jetropolitans: This could be a real threat. Chad Pennington’s going to be lobbing bombs to Laveranues Coles and Chris Baker all day, while DeWayne Robertson rushes the pocket. Except, of course, all those people will probably be out by Week 15 (they’re Questionable at the moment). There’s not a team so bad that the Jets won’t roll over and allow themselves an undignified moment. They lost to Philly, for the devil’s sake! I can’t imagine a worse team. Pats Win: 99.9996%

Week 16: Miami Fish: … well, except the one. We’ve already seen how this game turned out once; will the cold weather improve the Dolphin’s chances? Pats Win: 99.9996%

Week 17: New York Football Giants: One last hurdle before the postseason. Eli Manning’s not a bad quarterback, provided he’s standing out of frame of his brother – 82.9 passer rating, lots of picks but very few sacks or fumbles. Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer continue to amuse Chris Berman during the highlight reel; they’re each a fire-and-forget first down. The problem: everywhere the Giants are good, the Patriots are better. By leaps and bounds. Pats Win: 85%

Multiplying all these percentages together, I calculate the chances of the Patriots going 16-0 at 20.3%. That’s a one in five chance for the best team in football to duplicate a feat that’s only been achieved once. I like those odds!