Category: Business Day One

[Business Day One] Unexpected Generosity

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After a week of conference championship games, Selection Sunday swept into our lives and delivered the NCAA Tournament field to us.  Like kids on Christmas Eve, we waited to see what came down the chimney.  We speculated, audited in our heads how our years have gone.  Were we naughty or nice?  What’s Santa’s track record been in the past?  Does Daddy not having a job affect my odds of getting that pimp Lego Castle?  You talk yourself into believing in the most beautiful possibilities.  You think and hope and pray so hard that they become real.  Such is human nature.

Accordingly, life is filled with disappointments. ???? ?????   There are always more stories about vacations falling apart or an expensive restaurant being overrated or, say, your team getting ignored for the Big Dance than stories of unexpectedly perfect situations.  We as sports fans accept this.  We know, deep down, that our sunny predictions born of baseball’s spring training or football’s draft won’t be fulfilled.  But despite this, every so often the Gods of Sport give your team a gift.  Perhaps an entirely unexpected gift, a wholly undeserved gift.  But a gift.  And a beautiful one.

The Arizona Cardinals got one this past year – making it to the SuperBowl with a one dimensional offense and a terrible defense.  The Kansas City Chiefs got one in the form of a discount Matt Cassel.  And my beloved Boston College Eagles just picked one up in the form of a 7 seed in the tournament.  Granted, I think BC’s unexpectedly generous seeding isn’t on the same level of “holy flying God are you lucky” as the Buzzsaw’s run into the playoffs or The Last Cassel’s new home in KC, but it hit me close to home. ???? ???? ???? ????   So I’m going to talk about it.

BC beat Duke at home and UNC on the road.  We won the first game of the ACC tourney and played the Blue Devils to the final seconds in the next one.  We had the resume for a 9 or 10 seed, considering we dropped ugly games to St. Louis (road) and Harvard (home, in front of me).  The season proved that Boston College has the legs to either run into the Final Four or drop in the first round – in other words, they’re the perfect 9 or 10.  Just high enough not to be a Cinderalla, but just low enough to fly under the radar until the Sweet Sixteen.

Then the 7 seed happened.  I learned about it on a basement computer in the green room of my comedy theatre.  “Wow,” I said aloud.  “I think that’s a little generous.”  That right there is a rarity in sports.  We’re so used to disappointment, so used to our teams being disrespected, that when something so fun and unexpected happens, we have no idea what to think.  How often in the history of your own sports fandom have you had a “we don’t deserve such good news” moment?  You’ll probably think about thirty different “we got hosed” moments trying to come up with one. ????? ???????

So between now and Friday’s game against USC, I’m going to do my best to appreciate the sports equivalent of finding a $20 bill on the street.  Go Eagles, YOUR tournament 7 seed!

Business Day One, NCAA , , , ,

[Business Day One] 2-1

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My girlfriend and I have been to a Boston College basketball game three times this season, and we (and the team) have compiled a 2-1 record. We saw wins against Providence and Georgia Tech, and a shameful loss against Harvard.

I realized, reflecting upon this the other day, that I am lucky to have witnessed multiple wins, but even more so to be in a relationship with an honest to goodness sports fan.

I firmly believe you shouldn’t date someone just because they like the sports that you do, but if it just so happens that they’re big into football or baseball or anything else, it is a tremendous bonus. It’s like finding a gold bar in the truck of a car at a police auction – you expected something good and you got something awesome. If you’re dating someone who is a sports fan, buy them tickets to things. Tickets are like flowers. Unexpected and lovely. If you’re not, it’s ok. I’m sure you’ve got plenty of friends who’d like that extra Bruins ticket.

Business Day One, NCAA ,

[Business Day One] This Isn’t Bad, So Don’t Worry

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First off, if you haven’t put in your nominations, do that now.  You’re the Academy, people, and it’s a serious responsibility.

Alright, moving on to football matters. ???? ????????? ??? ?????   The Patriots said goodbye to Mike Vrabel and Matt Cassel, shipping them off to Kansas City for a second round pick.  At first blush, it appeared as if the Pats somehow fleeced new KC Bürgermeister Scott Pioli into giving the 34th pick for a 35 year old man who can, at this point, only sort of run and tackle. ????? ???? ?????   But then Cassel was revealed to be part of the deal and the response from Boston (“Our team is run by fools!  Fools!”) was not entirely positive.

That’s why I’m here.  To tell you that it was for both parties.  The NFL is not like fantasy football.  You can’t hoodwink other teams in the NFL with the ease that you can hoodwink some fantasy greenhorn in his first season.  Especially when you’re dealing with a guy (Pioli) who knows everything about you and you know everything about.  The Patriots dumped a heck of a lot of salary and got an incredibly valuable early second round pick.  The Chiefs acquired a guy who can throw a football and another guy who has played long enough to be another coach in the locker room.  That’s a net win for both teams.  The Patriots don’t make their living on getting early first round picks, like the Chief’s third overall that some fans up here were salivating over.  Unless you were lucky enough to acquire Matt Ryan (let’s go Eagles… errrr Falcons), you’re overpaying for people who haven’t played a down of pro football.  The Pats don’t build their teams around early 1st round big guns – rather, they make sure every position is filled with guys that can hurt you.  If you’ve noticed, they won a bunch of  Super Bowls doing this.

The Patriots are picking 23rd, 34th, 47th, and 58th.  Four of the top 60 picks.  I’d rather have that than a 3rd overall, since you’d be paying the same amount of money for those four players than you would be for that single theoretical superplayer.  The Pats will always take the warm bodies, as opposed to the one hot one. ?????? ???? ??????   And, given the system that they work under, everyone gets really good at doing what they’re supposed to.

Look forward to the draft, Foxboro Faithful.  And look forward to a better year overall, Kansas City.

Business Day One, Football , , , ,

[Business Day One] Marching Towards March

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“BC didn’t look too good this weekend,” said a BU-alum co-worker.

“Yeah,” I replied, “but we’ll make the Dance.”

Boston College beat Duke at home and UNC on the road this season.  A couple of thrilling games against top competition.  As part of any NCAA Tournament portfolio, they’d be those “well, now we have to let you in” type games that guarantee an 8 seed.  But in this baffling season in which the ACC beats up on each other more than usual, nothing is certain. ??? ???? ?? ??????? ??? ?????   After beating UNC, my beloved Eagles returned home and got clobbered by Harvard, a team with slightly more athletic talent than my high school’s.  I was there at Conte Forum when it went down.  If you dig up the ESPN highlights (I won’t, since it hurts), you’ll be able to see me in the background with my head in my hands and my girlfriend being a good soldier and trying to make me feel better.

The road to March Madness reminds me a lot of the road to the Oscars.  Way too many people using way too much specious reasoning to determine the future.  “Mickey Rourke won some support when he thanked his dogs during the Golden Globes, so that puts him in a great position.”  “Texas Tech is only at .500, but with their strength of schedule being what it is, maybe it’s enough to get some looks.”  Pundits of all types are weigh in, using the same information in different ways.  Interesting things happen when “news”casters need to fill two hours on one subject.

Like the Oscars, when the Tournament actually happens it is cause for a massive party, drinking games and friendly wagers.  But darn if the trip there is agony.  I’m not here to say that going to daily RPI trackers or Perez Hilton for gossip is wrong, but I am here to say that anticipation, when too bloated, invariably leads to letdown.  People love setting themselves up for disappointment. ???? ??????? ??? ????   I’m sure that some of you who braved the seven hours worth of the Academy Awards spent a lot of it wondering why your Lead Pipe Locks didn’t win their respective awards after you spent days in advance researching their roles and figuring out who actually is in the Academy. ???? bingo   I just trust you don’t make the same mistake with the NCAAs.

Business Day One, NCAA , , , ,

[Business Day One] Roid Rage

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I’m still upset about this A-Rod thing.  The past few days haven’t done anything to ease the frustration of having Bud Selig, who watched the biceps of his best players swell along with average attendance, declare that Rodriguez ‘shamed the game.’  Is the act of putting performance enhancers in your body to compete with the hundreds of other players that put performance enhancers in their bodies any more shameful than turning a blind eye to it until memories of the baseball strike faded?  Is that act more shameful than faking outrage once he realized that the fans were back?  The men that returned the crowds to baseball were coursing with banned substances.  People knew.  Staffers knew.  The commissioner’s office knew.  They must have known.  They’re not stupid – far from it.  They’re smarter than all of us.  Think of it this way: we’re all disgusted, but we’re talking about it.  I’m talking about it right now.  Heck, I just set my keepers in my fantasy baseball league.  We’re complaining about this steroid issue the same way we complain about U.S. foreign policy.  We’re disappointed, but we’re not going anywhere.

When will it end?  When will the stories about baseball be about baseball again?  I wish I had an answer for that.  I think this season is shot.  The hundred plus names on that report that mentioned A-Rod is coming out this year, no doubt about it.  There will be a lot of outrage and the season will essentially be a washout.  Right now, we’ve got a whole spring training, regular season, and postseason that will be absolutely, totally dominated by talk of steroids first and play on the field second, and that’s why the use of other supplements, such as lgd4033 (ligandrol) is a better option than steroids.

We’re really got two options for this upcoming season.  We can view it with a bit of distance and skepticism, or we can ignore it totally.  I don’t know of any real fans that are doing the second.  So in that respect we’re as much to blame as Selig or BALCO or anyone else.  We’re not going to boycott.  We’re going to pay $100 for tickets like always and then, if we have time, make up a clever sign with a syringe on it that might get up on television.  We’re part of the monster, so we better feel bad as we keep tuning in to SportsCenter to track allegations.  As a sports fan, you owe it to the Gods to feel bad.

So we’re angry and we’re guilty.  Let’s just make sure that’s taken care of before we even think about talking about the season.  Maybe next week is when I start hoping that the Yankees pitching staff is healthy.  Maybe the week after is when I think about my fantasy draft.  I’m not ready for any of that yet.  I hope I will be soon.  I hope you all will be too.

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[Business Day One] The Baseball Rule of Thumb

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I’m going to use as few words as possible so that the ones I use will carry a bit more weight.

When it comes to baseball, assume that every record broken in the last dozen years is tainted. Assume that the greats of yesteryear are still the best and that no one born after 1970 can hold a candle. Assume that the best and purest days of baseball are behind us and will never come back.

If you want to go to the ballpark after you think through all of that, then go.

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[Business Day One] A Wizard’s Guide To Sports

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Steelers-Cardinals was boring.  Sure, Big Ben Roflcopter led a blistering two minute drive down the field to score the go-ahead touchdown with under 60 seconds to play.  Sure, the Santonio Holmes catch was impossibly athletic, and could only be performed by about 50 people in the world.  But, well, Roflcopter always leads those drives and Holmes always makes those catches.  And the game ended just as Vegas predicted – a close Pittsburgh victory.

UFC 94 was boring.  The main event (St. Pierre vs. Penn 2) involved the Canadian ruthlessly pounding the confused and exhausted American for four rounds before the fight was called.

The sporting highlight of my weekend was neither of these things.  It was, instead, my first viewing of Wisest Wizard, the greatest nerd-related drinking game I’ve ever seen.  Here’s how it works:  Every time you finish a beer (or a diet A&W root beer, in my case), you duct tape a fresh beer to the top of it.  Eventually, you create a mighty wizard staff of beer cans and duct tape.  Every third or fourth can, you fight a “boss battle,” which involves taking a shot. ??? ????   And that’s it.  That’s the game.

The peripherals of this hobby are splendid.  You can discuss which powers you gain as you increase in level (“I just learned the Stumble spell” or “Dude, you just discovered Summon Lo Mein Fart.”)  Walking around with an aluminum staff is ridiculous, as they are more durable than you think they’d be.  Wisest Wizard works at any sporting event that could use a little extra spice on it.  Like, say, a lackluster SuperBowl or Ultimate Fighting event. ???? ?????? ???   Seriously.  As a nerd, you owe it to yourself to pick this up. ???? ????? ??? ????

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[Business Day One] Don’t’s, Lots of Don’t’s

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Watching the SuperBowl is a privilege, not a right.  You need to earn the invitation to a party by being a good friend, showering with regularity, and making sure people know you like football.  The enjoyment associated with the Mardi Gras of the pro sports can be taken away as freely as it can be given to you.  As such, when you’re at the party (wherever that party is), there are rules you need to follow. ???? ?????   And that goes beyond the obvious ones like “wipe your feet before entering” or “figure out who’s playing.”  I call these rules the “Don’t’s.”  And I’m going to share them with you so that you don’t embarass yourself and ruin what, for many, is the most fun day of their year.

DON’T be late.  If so, you’ll miss the pre-game gambling grids, the prime seating and the first round of chili.  Also, there is not more horrendous than the suspence of an opening drive interrupted by the sound of someone buzzing into your apartment.  Just budget an extra ten minutes for the trip.  Everyone will thank you.

DON’T show up empty-handed.  This is common courtesy, but it must be mentioned in the context of the Big Game.  To host a SuperBowl party is to lay out $100 in food and booze and know, for a fact, that this food and booze will wind up all over your floor.  SuperBowl parties aren’t clean and classy affairs.  They’re messy and loud and result in an environment that needs a wet-dry vac to correct.  Hosts are saints, and you should make a sacrifice of smoked meats, a cheese tray or a case of domestic beer to honor their divinity.

DON’T be contrary.  We’ve all seen it.  That random girlfriend of friend of a friend that shows up and immediately begins rooting for the other team.  Not because they’re a fan, or because they even know anything about football, but because they want to “be funny” or “give everyone a hard time. ????? ??? ???? ?????? ”  These people are soul-sucking leeches, put on this Earth to bother the rest of us.  They’re the same people that wore zany neckties in high school, or carried a tie-dyed purse.  They just want attention, and they don’t care if that attention is laced with murderous hatred.  There is nothing more infuriating than a non-fan cheering in mock enthusiasm when your team gets scored on.   It’s the only thing worse than stunned silence.  Just imagine you’re a Buffalo fan, and your cousin’s new girlfriend came over your house eighteen years ago wearing a $5 Giants shirt she bought “just for fun.”  Now imagine her cheering when Norwood’s kick went wide.  Now, take a breath and imagine the statewide search for the body.  Be kind and, if you don’t know the sport, stay quiet until those catchy commercials start playing.  Which reminds me…

DON’T feel bad about enjoying the commercials.  Enough effort has been put into them over the years that it’s ok for the die-hards to laugh at them.  It’s not like doing the wave.  It’s totally fine.  Don’t feel bad.  Laugh when something funny happens.

DON’T ask if anyone wants the last cocktail weiner.  Just take it.  No one cares.

DON’T use ESPN pre-game analysis as the source of your opinions.  Yes, the temptation is there to opine on why Larry Fitzgerald will dominate or why Willie Parker will get stuffed at the line.  But if you haven’t seen any Steelers or Cardinals games this season, what you heard Cris Carter say before you drove to your buddy’s house IS NOT a valid substitute for silence. betfinal ????   If you don’t have an opinion of your own, don’t offer someone else’s to look cool.  Everyone there knows where you got it from.

And finally, DON’T leave until it’s over.  These people are your friends.  There is nowhere else you should be.

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