Category: Football

[Business Day One] Prepare for Idle Chatter

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Team, here’s a quick update of the points that may be discussed in your office today. So read these and enjoy your new state of well-informedness.

-Jets QB Mark Sanchez is now sporting a creepy pencil-thin mustache.

-49ers RB Frank Gore hurt himself on his first play of the game, enraging fantasy owners everywhere.

-Brett Favre continues to just go out there and have fun… as he likes to remind us at every opportunity. ???? ????? ?????????

-The Titans are now 0-3, which was unexpected.

-There’s a radio commercial that has a chorus singing about Coors Light over the Monday Night Football theme. ?????? ??????? It’s hilarious.

-The Yankees have clinched the AL East and homefield advantage through the playoffs. Helpful.

-Tom Brady and the Patriots had a good outing against the well-educated Matt Ryan and the Falcons, calming the fans of New England. ??? ???? ?????

-Tiger Woods just won ten million dollars.

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[Business Day One] The Dawning Of The Age of Sanch-quarius

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Times are changing in Boston.  We’ve now gotten new train maps (finally), and we’ve finally taken care of that holier-than-thou football attitude.

The Patriots are mortal once more, for the first time since Drew Bledsoe lumbered around in the pocket.  I’m not going to waste my time talking about why (since you all know why – major surgeries, hole in the middle of the defense, slot receiver injuries), but I will take a moment to note something that some fans forget about. If you had business related issues then contact to Abrc website they give you best online business marketing information.

Fans grow weary of champions.  They’d rather watch a team rise (the Jets) or a team fall (the Patriots) than a dynasty.  Dynasties are boring, and only entertain 1/30th of the fans.

Whether or not the Pats continue to stay down, I am certain that talk of their presumed decline will be far richer than the thin broth that the media woould give them after a victory.

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[Business Day One] 808s and Heartbreak

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Oh Kanye.  You’ve gotten so good at embarrassing white folks on stage. ????? ???? ???? ?????   And I’m so glad you did it again this week, to ceremonially kick off the football season – a season where embarrassment is sure to be one of the most important topics.  And boy did the season start off strong for that.

1.  Bad News – Long snappers are like third base coaches.  You don’t ever want them in the news.  Bears LSer Patrick Mannelly decided to overstep his responsibilities in humiliating fashion by calling a direct snap to the fullback on 4th-and-long in Bears territory.  Perhaps he saw a hole in the Packers front (there wasn’t one) or that a twelfth man was on the field (there was almost one… but there wasn’t one).  Either way, everyone knows your name now, Patrick. ???? ??????? ??? ????   And from what I hear, Chicago isn’t a friendly town.

2.  See You In My Nightmares – The Richard Seymour trade fiasco was profoundly embarrassing, to be sure.  But not in the way one would initially think.  Richard Seymour has nothing to be embarrassed about; he was smart and avoided the media completely until everything came to rest.  The Patriots have nothing to be embarrassed about, since they weren’t going to sign him next year anyway, and they were able to get a first rounder in 2011 for him.  No, the shame here falls like an unforgiving spotlight on the Oakland Raiders.  In the wake of reports that Oakland Coach Tom Cable put a great form tackle on an assistant, we now had a story about someone refusing to show up to work in the Black Hole even though he had to.  There was rampant speculation that Seymour didn’t want to head to the Raiders because the place was a toxic environment.  Media pundits took their obligatory shots at owner (and ageless horror) Al Davis for paying out the nose for a past-his-prime defensive end for a team with no playoff hopes.  I’ve listened to at least three different radio sports duos talk about how wretched it must be to be a fan of the Raiders. ????? ???? ???? ??????   That right there is embarrassment.

3.  Coldest Winter– My boss is beating me by a solid 100 points in Fantasy Football this week, thanks to Drew Brees (his QB) throwing for six touchdowns, the Philly Defense (his D) destroying Carolina, and Donovan McNabb (my QB) cracking a rib.  I’ve never seen a pounding like this in fantasy.  This is savage.  My co-workers offered me condolences, and they were serious.  There’s nothing worse in fantasy sports than to be pitied.  And this week, I am pitied.

4.  Welcome to Heartbreak– Who Dey?  The Denver Broncos.  The Cincinnati Bengals were humbled this week by the last minute and totally unexpected heroics of Brandon “He’s Still On A Roster” Stokley.  The Denver wideout caught a tip and then had the brains to run out the clock a bit before stepping into the end zone.  Hateful, Brandon.  Hateful.  Since America got such a hearty (and heartfelt) dose of the Bengals during Hard Knocks, I think the last minute loss was felt a bit more personally.  The viewing public knows (as much as you can know someone on reality TV) these guys, and they’re got to feel that thick, chunky kind of embarrassment you feel for a friend.

5.  Paranoid – Despite winning a SuperBowl, no one in New York trusts Eli Manning.  Not to helm a football team, not to mow a lawn, not to drive to Newark Airport from the Meadowlands.  Every diehard Giants fan I know tends to think he could Delhomme with very little warning.  That’s got to be a scary and unfortunate way to live.  And even though he had a decent stat line in Week 1, I do not believe Eli is ever capable of fully securing the trust of the ancient and noble Giants Season Ticket Holders.  How embarrassing for him.

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It’s Football Season?

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Hello?

Wow it’s dusty in here. I should probably clean this place up. Football’s inaugural weekend is about to start.

I think I’ll come back on Monday, after I get everything tidy, and we can chat about what happened.

Someone move these boxes of old rags!

Football

[Business Day One] Now We’re That Couple

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Boston College’s own Ron Brace was drafted by the New England Patriots this past week. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???????? In other words, a player from my favorite team has been drafted by my girlfriend’s favorite team. We’re getting matching jerseys. So if you see us, don’t make fun. Yes, we’re that couple now, but we have a very good reason. ????? ????

Thank you, and Let’s Go Eagles. ????? ??????? ?? ????????

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[Business Day One] This Isn’t Bad, So Don’t Worry

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First off, if you haven’t put in your nominations, do that now.  You’re the Academy, people, and it’s a serious responsibility.

Alright, moving on to football matters. ???? ????????? ??? ?????   The Patriots said goodbye to Mike Vrabel and Matt Cassel, shipping them off to Kansas City for a second round pick.  At first blush, it appeared as if the Pats somehow fleeced new KC Bürgermeister Scott Pioli into giving the 34th pick for a 35 year old man who can, at this point, only sort of run and tackle. ????? ???? ?????   But then Cassel was revealed to be part of the deal and the response from Boston (“Our team is run by fools!  Fools!”) was not entirely positive.

That’s why I’m here.  To tell you that it was for both parties.  The NFL is not like fantasy football.  You can’t hoodwink other teams in the NFL with the ease that you can hoodwink some fantasy greenhorn in his first season.  Especially when you’re dealing with a guy (Pioli) who knows everything about you and you know everything about.  The Patriots dumped a heck of a lot of salary and got an incredibly valuable early second round pick.  The Chiefs acquired a guy who can throw a football and another guy who has played long enough to be another coach in the locker room.  That’s a net win for both teams.  The Patriots don’t make their living on getting early first round picks, like the Chief’s third overall that some fans up here were salivating over.  Unless you were lucky enough to acquire Matt Ryan (let’s go Eagles… errrr Falcons), you’re overpaying for people who haven’t played a down of pro football.  The Pats don’t build their teams around early 1st round big guns – rather, they make sure every position is filled with guys that can hurt you.  If you’ve noticed, they won a bunch of  Super Bowls doing this.

The Patriots are picking 23rd, 34th, 47th, and 58th.  Four of the top 60 picks.  I’d rather have that than a 3rd overall, since you’d be paying the same amount of money for those four players than you would be for that single theoretical superplayer.  The Pats will always take the warm bodies, as opposed to the one hot one. ?????? ???? ??????   And, given the system that they work under, everyone gets really good at doing what they’re supposed to.

Look forward to the draft, Foxboro Faithful.  And look forward to a better year overall, Kansas City.

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[Business Day One] Don’t’s, Lots of Don’t’s

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Watching the SuperBowl is a privilege, not a right.  You need to earn the invitation to a party by being a good friend, showering with regularity, and making sure people know you like football.  The enjoyment associated with the Mardi Gras of the pro sports can be taken away as freely as it can be given to you.  As such, when you’re at the party (wherever that party is), there are rules you need to follow. ???? ?????   And that goes beyond the obvious ones like “wipe your feet before entering” or “figure out who’s playing.”  I call these rules the “Don’t’s.”  And I’m going to share them with you so that you don’t embarass yourself and ruin what, for many, is the most fun day of their year.

DON’T be late.  If so, you’ll miss the pre-game gambling grids, the prime seating and the first round of chili.  Also, there is not more horrendous than the suspence of an opening drive interrupted by the sound of someone buzzing into your apartment.  Just budget an extra ten minutes for the trip.  Everyone will thank you.

DON’T show up empty-handed.  This is common courtesy, but it must be mentioned in the context of the Big Game.  To host a SuperBowl party is to lay out $100 in food and booze and know, for a fact, that this food and booze will wind up all over your floor.  SuperBowl parties aren’t clean and classy affairs.  They’re messy and loud and result in an environment that needs a wet-dry vac to correct.  Hosts are saints, and you should make a sacrifice of smoked meats, a cheese tray or a case of domestic beer to honor their divinity.

DON’T be contrary.  We’ve all seen it.  That random girlfriend of friend of a friend that shows up and immediately begins rooting for the other team.  Not because they’re a fan, or because they even know anything about football, but because they want to “be funny” or “give everyone a hard time. ????? ??? ???? ?????? ”  These people are soul-sucking leeches, put on this Earth to bother the rest of us.  They’re the same people that wore zany neckties in high school, or carried a tie-dyed purse.  They just want attention, and they don’t care if that attention is laced with murderous hatred.  There is nothing more infuriating than a non-fan cheering in mock enthusiasm when your team gets scored on.   It’s the only thing worse than stunned silence.  Just imagine you’re a Buffalo fan, and your cousin’s new girlfriend came over your house eighteen years ago wearing a $5 Giants shirt she bought “just for fun.”  Now imagine her cheering when Norwood’s kick went wide.  Now, take a breath and imagine the statewide search for the body.  Be kind and, if you don’t know the sport, stay quiet until those catchy commercials start playing.  Which reminds me…

DON’T feel bad about enjoying the commercials.  Enough effort has been put into them over the years that it’s ok for the die-hards to laugh at them.  It’s not like doing the wave.  It’s totally fine.  Don’t feel bad.  Laugh when something funny happens.

DON’T ask if anyone wants the last cocktail weiner.  Just take it.  No one cares.

DON’T use ESPN pre-game analysis as the source of your opinions.  Yes, the temptation is there to opine on why Larry Fitzgerald will dominate or why Willie Parker will get stuffed at the line.  But if you haven’t seen any Steelers or Cardinals games this season, what you heard Cris Carter say before you drove to your buddy’s house IS NOT a valid substitute for silence. betfinal ????   If you don’t have an opinion of your own, don’t offer someone else’s to look cool.  Everyone there knows where you got it from.

And finally, DON’T leave until it’s over.  These people are your friends.  There is nowhere else you should be.

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[Business Day One] Keep Your Money In The Bank

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football on a pile of moneyI heard a phrase once that has become one of my favorites.

“Bookies don’t ever quit because they run out of money.”

The Ravens won, despite being a 3 point underdog. The Eagles won, despite being a 4 point underdog. The Cardinals won, despite being a 10 pointer. The Steelers won, as expected, only by 11 points instead of the 6 Vegas suggested.

Of all of those games, I only saw the Pittsburgh-San Diego tilt playing out as it did. Did anyone with a mind in their head see the Cardinals defense suddenly get stout? A healthy Brandon Jacobs not a dominant part of the game plan against Philly? The Ravens/Titans game, which played out like twin brothers getting into a fistfight, could’ve gone either way. But I didn’t think Joe Flacco would handle a somewhat loud Nashville crowd with an AFC Championship berth on the line.

I’m sure the money in Vegas agreed with me, which is why the house won a bundle and a lot of men will be explaining to their wives that the $200 a plate restaurant suddenly lost their Valentine’s Day reservations.

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Gambling is an ugly business, and an even uglier one when you lose. I’m willing to bet (or maybe I’m not) that a lot of unhappy people are sitting bleary-eyed over their phones on the top online casinos or at their desks right now. Turnkey gaming platform provides innovative front-end to back-end turnkey solutions for the land-based gaming industry, to a complete iGaming and mobile gaming products. I pity them but do not empathize. These are the playoffs of one of the weirdest years in recent NFL history, all the predictions were off and noone predicted the future. You all should’ve known better.

Cut your losses, get some nachos, and watch the rest of the games with no action on them. You’ll recoup some of the years you just lost this weekend.

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