What’s Cooking on the Hot Stove

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So the baseball winter meetings are happening right now. There are rumors flying through the air like monkeys from the boobs of a sorceress (Tin Man reference). ???? ???? ??? ??? ???? Rumors about Santana going everywhere — From Boston to Los Angeles or somewhere in New York to playing on the Canadian curling team. Baseball rumors are crazy right now.

Johan Santana Baseball CardAlso, why do they call it hot stove? Is it because they are cooking something wacky? Perhaps the GM’s are frying up some delicious prospects to tempt another owner? Ok, so maybe it’s because these trade meetings happen in the winter and you have to gather around a “hot stove” to keep warm for the discussions. But how cold can it be in Nashville? 30 degrees at night — Ok, but how cold can it be in the Gaylord Resort? Yeah, all these older gentlemen are gathering at the Gaylord. Take it as you will.

Now that we’re past the gay stuff, on to the trades and rumors. The big trade so far was Dontrelle Willis and Miguel Cabrera from the Marlins to the Tigers for 6 prospects of varying levels. The top prospects are Cameron Maybin and Andrew Miller. Maybin is only 20 and Miller 22. Now Detroit (who scored the most runs in baseball last year) has a lineup that includes Sheffield, Granderson, Maglio, and Cabrera. That’s some pretty scary stuff. Now to find a home for Inge.

Johan Santana SitsThe biggest trade rumors have been around the magical, two-time Cy Young winner, Johan Santana. The Yankees were in the lead for a while giving away a pile of prospects, but they setup a self-imposed no-deal deadline that has passed. Of course, it’s the Yankees, so rules/deadlines, no matter who imposes them, mean nothing to them — especially silly non-binding ones (hello US congress!). Therefore the Yankees are probably still in the hunt. Another top team in the Santa Santana Sweepstakes is the Boston Redsox. They are rumored to give up either Pitching prospect/cancer survivor Jon Lester or center fielder/base-stealing maniac Jacoby Elsbury along with a delicious box of Coco Crisp. Don’t you go away no thinking this is another Redsox/Yankees thing, the halo wearing Angels of California of Anaheim of Los Angeles of Pacific Ocean are in the hunt also. And at the bottom of the rumor pile is some crazy 3-way deal with the Mets and the A’s working some Santa Santana magic. ????? ???? ???????

I’d like to tell you about other fun rumors, but the Santa Santana Sweepstakes is taking up the entirety of the winter meetings. Yeah there are rumors of the oft injured Rolen for the 5-12 Capuano or that the Indians are trying to get Jason Bay from the Pirates. Yarr.

The rumor that I’m most interested in who’s names are on the Mitchell Report. ???? Yeah the teams were warned in advance on the drug testing, but the ‘roids don’t just disappear out of your system that easy. Well, the report is due out this month so all we can do is wait and write silly blog posts.