Nerds on Sports

So almost 2 weeks ago I retreated to my cave of depression and solitude after some certain footballing events. But the time and reflecting have pulled me out of hiding and back here to blabbering on about nothing. Aren’t you glad?

So to get you back in the mood for my posts, I’m going to start you off with some hot ladies. First off the Indy Car hottie and Go Daddy front woman — Danica Patrick. She’s what Sports Illustrated is using to rationalize the “sports” in the Swimsuit Edition this year. Check out the full spread and the interview with Dan Patrick (Yes, it’s hilarious that they have similar names — I can’t read the article without laughing. I also can’t stop the sarcasm.) Also, what’s with the granny panties in picture 33? Since this is swimsuit edition time, for more hotness check out the athlete’s wives section or the bodypainting section. Also you can read the interviews with each model so you can decide which ones are bitches.

After the hot women I want to mention some nerdy news. EA Games has extended their license with the NFL. So I guess they hope Madden stays alive for 5 more years and they don’t have to make many innovations. Don’t you love the “free market?” EA is a bitch.

I hear Uno (aka Ch. K-Run’s Park Me In First) the beagle was named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Tuesday night over some champion poodle bitches. First beagle to ever win the award at Westminster. One thing to note is that even though Snoopy is a beagle, he doesn’t look anything a beagle. This probably explains Snoopy’s lack of a Best in Show award (or even a Best in Class award). Actually Snoopy is nothing like a beagle. Uno walks on four legs and doesn’t fly around on his house. Uno doesn’t type notes on a typewriter — he uses his laptop. He looks so cute when he’s working and wearing glasses.

Oh and one more thing: pitchers and catchers (no, it’s not gay) have reported to spring training and Josh Beckett is fat.

The opening line on the Big Game was 14 points. That means that in initial Vegas action, anyone that bet on the Patriots believed that they were two touchdowns and two extra points better than a Giants team that has won on the road in three straight weeks and mounted an effective pass rush against the Patriots the week before. I don’t think I’d take that bet.

The line has come down since then, but the Pats are still favored by a touchdown, a field goal and some change. I still don’t think I’d take that bet. I, and most of the western world, do believe New England is going to win. But by twelve? Thirteen? That’s a fairly tough thing to do. In the past five years, only one team has won by a touchdown, a field goal and some change. And that team wasn’t the Patriots, though they’ve played in three of those games. Granted, this Pats team is far different than the XXXVI, XXXVIII, XXXIX versions, but in a game this big, I’m not going to give the points.

In fact, I challenge someone to tell me why I should. That’s right. I challenge someone!

There, a gauntlet has been thrown down. In the meantime, I believe I still have more mailbag to get to:

Dave L (Somerville, MA) - Do you think baseball will ever have a salary cap? (in say… the next 30 years) why/why not?

I think we’re going to see a “salary floor” of some sort before we see any salary cap. Read more »

Tom Brady recently ran into the 4-legged Tom Brady on the streets of New York City. The 4-legged Tom Brady was a dog, named so by a fan. So I figured I would try and give all my pets athlete names.

First is my pet Emu.

His name is Randy Johnson.

I also have a pet lion, I named him Manny Ramirez. Here’s a picture of him after missing a fly ball:

Of course I don’t let Manny hang out with Randy — No Sox/Yankees violence allowed in my house/zoo. Read more »

I think having a free taco and giving out free tacos to children only slightly dressed up at my doorstep has ruined my writing energy for the week. So I shall tell you where else you can go for some exciting things. Of course, I will mix in some fun pictures, because Google Image Search is our biggest visitor (by biggest, I mean only - I don’t think anyone gets here without going through Google) and I have to keep them happy.

• Does Papelbon have formal training in Irish Step Dancing?
• Goulet is a ghoul now, but Deadspin helps us remember the funny.
• Fire Joe Morgan has checked the PECOTA predictions for next year - They find that the Chicago White Sox are going to end the season at 0-162. Read more »

I don’t have all the time in the world for my post because Halo 3 is here, and I have to get back to helping Cortana and killing aliens. So I’ll just send you to a few lists I’ve recently read in the Blogo-Icosahedron (or Blogosahedron for short).

The first is a list of sports blogger types from Epic Carnival. Where do you think the NoS writers fit in to that? What are we missing? I know we need another writer, so perhaps I should find someone that helps us round out this list.

The second is a baseball is better than men list from Babes Love Baseball. So I figured I could extend the ‘Women > Baseball > Men’ list thing and say Why Women are Better Than Baseball:

1. Women don’t disappear and exist on rumors for 6 months of the year.
2. Women are much better at fitting dates into your schedule. When was the last time a baseball game was delayed because you had to work late or go on a business trip?
3. Women try to look good for you, Baseball teams keep JD Drew on the roster.
4. Women are sensitive. There’s no crying in baseball. (I don’t know if this is a good or bad thing.)
5. Women listen to you when you’re upset or angry (then they twist those words at a later time).
6. Most women are hotter than most baseball players. (to me anyways)
7. You have a much wider choice when it comes to women. With baseball, you have about 30 choices, with most of those being long distance relationships.
8. Women are unpredictable. Add some excitement to your life.
9. A good women will enjoy baseball with you.
10. Most women don’t give you an 86 year drought without going all the way.

Ok, go enjoy Halo 3, or make me a list that says men are better than baseball (if that is even possible).

Most regular people couldn’t name more than 1 or 2 chess grandmasters. Those 2 being Bobby Fischer and Gary Kasparov due to their fame in a movie or playing chess against a computer (or political careers).  But what I have recently discovered is a female grandmaster (She was the tenth female of the 11 that have so far attained this rank - Making her borg name 10 of 11.) - a hot Russian female nerd/grandmaster.

Alexandra Kosteniuk has been teaching me to improve my chess skills through the problems presented in her video podcast: Chess Killer Tips. Now, I don’t play chess often or very well, but it doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a good tactical challenge now and again. For those times, I turn to chess puzzles. Even when watching the “easy” video podcast puzzles, sometimes I still have to go back and watch the answer a second time.

And now for the best part: Pictures.

Also check out this story about her in Penthouse last year.

Chess talk over, now lets watch some football!

I’ve been browsing the sports blogo-icosahedron, and I do this all the time now that I have my own blog. It has to be done; blogging is a team sport, and when a teammate does well you have to pat him or her on the ass. Plus, if I think of anything good to say (highly doubtful), posting a comment elsewhere usually creates a nice pretty link back to here.

Of course I find the hot women of University of Arizona Softball. I find a sports blog post about video games that someone here didn’t write. I also learn of the record breaking ratings for the NHL playoffs this year, but most of my time has been clogged up with the Hot Blogger Brackets of the Ladies…

Why is this affecting me so? Because I never knew how many freaking sports blogs were out there. Damn. I’m trying to read bits and pieces of all of them to see which ones are good enough to be added to my RSS reader. This is causing me to open a mega-ton of Firefox tabs. So much so that now when I do Ctrl+Alt+Del I can see that my firefox.exe process is using 395,744 K.

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have to get back to Calvin Johnson’s contract before my computer crashes and I lose ev%#¬yk thî^ng^&^§¬¬

I’m like most guys — I like sports and women and never the twain shall meet. Though, if the internet and blogo-icosahedron (yes blogs are a 20-sided die) have any say the 2 shall never part. The picture on the left is of Allison Stokke, a high school pole vaulter from California. Do a Google search for her and you get over 185,000 results. About a pole vaulter. In High School. Now do a search for Rudy Ruettiger. Half the results. The Internet has spoken, and it wants you to know about women and sports.

So I listened. And I heard some crazy stories. Like a female golfer from Dubai who had a terrible sexual escapade and related that story with puns. The Philadelphia Cheerleaders have a blog. Who cares that Brad Penny is 5-1 with a 2.54 ERA, he’s doing Eliza Dushku. And very recently I came across an elimination battle of hot wives and girlfriends.

After the crazy sexy women stuff, it started to get weird. Read more »