Nerds on Sports Where nerds are talking about sports!

May 7, 2014

Wow! Much Fast!

Filed under: Racing — Tags: , , , , — Willis @ 10:00 am

I might have to tune in to a NASCAR race this season to check out the Dogecoin car in action.

doge carmuch draft

very race

so left turn

RIJ7bfM

 

May 2, 2014

It’s Kentucky Derby Time

Filed under: Racing — Tags: , , , , , , , , , — Willis @ 11:57 am

Happy almost first Saturday in May. You know what that means… It’s Derby Time!

So grab your over-sized hats and substantial fascinators because the 140th derby is tomorrow. Pour yourself a strong mint julep, find your rose garland, and sing along to My Old Kentucky Home.

Now that you’re mostly prepared, it’s time for learning about the horses, and for that I’m going to strap a feed bag of useless untrue horse info to your face:

  1. Vicar’s In Trouble (20-1) – Sounds like a newspaper headline out of Boston, but I actually think it’s a dirty joke based on the horse’s parents names: Vibrant, by Vicar and Into Mischief. Why I’m betting this horse: He’s being ridden by a female jockey.  And not just any female jockey, the best female jockey. And I think it’s time for a lady to win the derby.
  2. Harry’s Holiday (50-1) – This horse is ranked 19th of the 20 horses in the Derby, but I think the name was just created to pull some royal buzz. Yesterday Prince Harry parties hard at a Miami bachelor party after split from Cressida Bonas… Sounds like a pretty good holiday to me. Why I’m betting this horse: The longshot odds… Just imagine the winnings potential!
  3. Uncle Sigh (30-1) – Yup, it’s a horse named after a dude on TV. Uncle Sigh is named for Uncle Si Robertson from A&E’s reality TV show “Duck Dynasty.” I hope the jockey has a duck call in his mouth and is quacking the whole race. Why I’m betting this horse: Wounded Warrior Stable pledges to donate 10-percent of his earnings to various charities supporting injured veterans.
  4. DanzaDanza (8-1) – Just when you get over the surprise of a horse named after a TV guy… Danza was named after Tony Danza, and got the name in a horse naming contest. Also, there are horse naming contests!? How do I get a piece of that action? I know tons of dudes on TV’s names! Why I’m betting this horse: Tony Fucking Danza! And the Jockey pretty much has a superhero alter-ego name: Joe Bravo.
  5. California Chrome (5-2) – Everyone loves California Chrome. It’s so shiny and nice, and he’s won his last 5 races. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. He’s already won more money than all the other horses here – he’s starting to not care. It’s time for CC to lose. And when he does, we can all say he sucked so bad he could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.
  6. Samraat (15-1) – I never know how to pronounce  a double a in words like this. Is it sam-rat or sam-ra-at? Also, I always hear it in my head like Mumraaa the Everliving. Anyway, let’s just go with the English translation of this Indian word: “Emperor.” Why I’m betting this horse: He’s the Emperor and he’s got a new groove.
  7. We Miss Artie (50-1) – I was hoping this horse was named by someone who really wanted Artie Lange back on the Stern show or something, but no — Artie is just the daddy horse name. Do you think some race horses have daddy issues? So many of them are named after them and are expected to be as good as or better than their fathers. Is this the way we’d want our horse children treated? How many suicidal horses must we lose before we learn!? Why I’m betting this horse: Because I miss Artie, don’t you?
  8. General A Rod (15-1) – On one of the sites I was researching horse info, this horse’s name is written as General a Rod. Which instead of honoring a A. Rodriguez becomes an insult for the guy leading your army. Who’s in charge here — General a Rod Up His Butt? Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. I don’t like ol’ Purple Lips A-Rod and the real horse’s namesake no longer owns the horse.
  9. Vinceremos (30-1) – Horses are so often named after their parents. Is this horse the love child of @VinnyCaravella and @chrisremo? Why I’m betting this horse: Because of Vinny and Chris even though they have nothing to do with this horse or horse racing or Kentucky.
  10. Wildcat Red (15-1) -This horse is coming out of the gate with no quarterback. It’s a 2 full-back formation and those other horses will never see it coming. This trick has worked pretty well so far as Wildcat Red has either been first or second in all 7 of his previous races. Let’s hope those other horses haven’t been studying the tape too much. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. I don’t bet on communist horses from Venezuela.

    Hoppertunity

    File Photo of Hoppertunity

  11. Hoppertunity (SCR) – Someone caught on that this wasn’t actually a horse, but was, in fact, a team of rabbits in a horse suit. Maybe next year bunnies.
  12. Dance With Fate (20-1) – Have you ever tried dancing with fate? She’s a terrible dancer – so predictable and it ends with the same dip every time. Also, horses can’t dance well — they have 2 left feet. Why I’m betting this horse: Because of the pretty pink shirt the jockey wears.
  13. Chitu (20-1) – Anyone know what a Chitu is? Is he the son of Chiwon? I’ll admit that was a terrible joke, but I really don’t know what a Chitu is and Google is no help. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. This horse might as well be named Blasted Samoflange (actually, that’d be an awesome horse name) because I don’t know what the heck it is.
  14. Medal Count (20-1) – Medal Count is the worst, most awful part of Olympic coverage. Useless info. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury signifying nothing. Why I’m betting this horse: Yesterday was his third birthday, and I have to assume there is a child, that speaks horse, who will go to the paddock before the race and inform them of this. The horses will collude to allow Medal Count to get a win. Cartoons have never led me astray before.
  15. Tapiture (8-1) – His dad (sire in horse terms), Tapit, played a mean guitar solo to woo his mother (dam in horse terms). She was named “Free Ride” but was actually the prude of the stables. When Tapiture was born, Tapit chose the name because he was the son of Tapit and an awesome guitar jam. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. Tapiture is a stupid name created by a stupid horse.
  16. Intense Holiday (8-1) – Half brother of Harry’s Holiday in the second slot. He is a bastard child as his dam never won a race, but I think that just drives Intense more. The sibling rivalry is huge between these two: Harry’s won more races, but Intense has won more money. The Derby could be the deciding factor in this sibling war. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. I only bet on one Holiday bother to keep the rivalry going.
  17. Commanding Curve (50-1) – With a sire of Master Command this horse could have been named Commanding Anything, yet somehow they chose the worst possible word. How does a curve command? Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. This is the worse name here and it doesn’t deserve to be recognized at all.
  18. Candy Boy (15-1) – As the son of Candy Ride, Candy Boy makes complete sense. That’s more than we can say about Commanding Curve. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. The other horses are gonna say Candy Boy needs to shut his mouth, go down Know Your Role Boulevard, just off Jabroni Drive, and check himself directly into the Smackdown Hotel, where we will be waiting to layeth the smacketh downeth on his candy ass!Hipster Horse
  19. Ride On Curlin (15-1) – I’m pretty sure this is the indie hipster pick of the race. (Other than his dad being the richest horse in history that is.) OwnerDaniel Dougherty is furniture dealer from Louisville, Kentucky.  He bought Ride on Curlin for $25,000 and then turned down a $1 million offer after the horse set a track record at Ellis Park. Trainer:  Billy “Bronco” Gowan trains a small number of horses at Churchill Downs training center in Louisville, Kentucky. Jockey: Hall of famer, Calvin Borel of 2009 longshot Mine That Bird fame. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m a hipster.
  20. Wicked Strong (6-1) – Yeah khed. Boston strong dude. Reds Sox, and Pay-chits, and Brunes are winnahs too so this horses is best. Gimme some steaks tips and Budweisers and I’ll see you at the Frog Pond.  Why I’m betting this horse: Boston Strong and 5% of his winnings go to the One Fund.
  21. Pablo del Monte (50-1) – The replacement for Hoppertunity is Pablo Del Monte. Ever wonder what was in those fruit cups? Well, it’s horse. Now you know. Why I’m betting this horse: I’m not. Pablo was probably the one that tipped off the authorities that Hoppertunity wasn’t a real horse. And snitches don’t get my bets.

So let’s get out there and yell at some horses for 3 minutes after drinking whiskey for 3 hours!

April 3, 2008

Three Completely Unrelated Sports

Filed under: Baseball,Racing,Soccer — Tags: , , , , , , , , , , — Willis @ 5:00 am

Airwolf FlyoverHey internets, remember me? I’m the webmaster for this site and I was writing on Wednesdays for a while. Well, I have been a bit busy. In my real life I switched jobs and that was stealing most of my free time. I am now a “web development engineer” as opposed to my previous job where I was a “software engineer.” For some of you I basically just said I went from being a “computer guy” to being a “computer guy,” but the truth is I went from being a “MS SQL guy” to an “ASP.NET guy.” Don’t worry, I’m not going to switch from WordPress to a C# software package, I still have to, at least, check out version 2.5 before making rash changes.

Enough of the computer/software talk, on to the sports. Since I’ve finally settled into my new routine, I was able to take in a full weekend (Saturday) of sports.

First event of the weekend was a Rolex Sports Car series race: GAINSCO Grand Prix of Miami at Homestead Miami Speedway (say that 3-times fast). (more…)

August 5, 2007

He Had A Hammer

Filed under: Baseball — Tags: , , , , , , — Peiser @ 12:13 pm

When Hank Aaron tied and subsequently broke Babe Ruth’s record of 714 Home Runs, the socio-political backdrop involved a great deal of deeply entrenched racism. Hammerin’ Hank played in the South, and his career spanned Brown and Swann— the heyday of the Civil Rights movement, as the Supreme Court dragged the American people into the present, into reality, kicking and screaming. The novel concept that people are people, nobody’s got a god-given right to be held above a fellow human- that took a while to sink in, and still hasn’t quite fully done so. Racism will, sadly, forever dog American history, and will never be fully expelled from our society. Indeed, it’s one of those troubling real-world things that baseball is designed to help us escape. Baseball’s just a game, baseball’s more than a game, baseball is tied to our national soul, baseball’s been racist, baseball’s atoned, baseball will never fully atone.

Hank Aaron’s first two home runs of 1974 were surrounded by death threats, bigotry, excitement, and downright jubilation. It seems terribly exciting- if anyone who remembers it first-hand would comment here I’d appreciate it. Unfortunately, there wasn’t much of an internet in 1974, and pretty much anything contemporaneous about Hank that’s worth reading involves paid archives. So here’s a link to his well-crafted Wikipedia page and the suggestion that you go out and read something about Hank at your local library. He was a quiet, likable titan of sport, from all accounts. Hank played in the Negro Leagues, the “separate but equal” place to see damn fine baseball through most of the 20th Century, at the beginning of his career, and went from there to a long career as one of the super-elite three or four most consistent offensive producers in baseball’s history (Ruth, Williams, Cobb, I’d say).

Here’s a teaser for what looks to be a pretty decent documentary on Hank’s time with the Eau Claire Bears: Youtube.

And now Barry Bonds. He’s tied Aaron. The internet has it covered. He’s no pioneer, he’s a cheater, he’s a terrific hitter, he’s a circus, he’s ultimately a letdown. I prefer to cling to 755 as the important number, wherever Barry ends up, and to celebrate Aaron, and pretty much agree with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Terrence Moore:

Actually, Aaron is still in it, but in a wonderful way. Whenever those among the public hear Bonds’ name, either positively or negatively, they usually hear Aaron’s name soon afterward. Not only that, when Aaron’s name does surface during conversations involving Bonds, Aaron’s name often is surrounded by implied hugs and kisses. In fact, Bonds once told me with a smile at his locker at San Francisco’s AT&T Park, “I’m helping to keep Hank’s name out there.”

That’s nice of Bonds, but Aaron really doesn’t need his help. For 23 Hall of Fame seasons without the hint of scandal, the eternal king of home-run kings helped himself, thank you.

Unlike George Herman Ruth last time around, Aaron’s still alive, and I think he’s been pretty classy- all things considered. We can only speculate what Ruth would have said or done in April 1974, but I personally doubt he would have taken things in stride; I mean, I get pissed when my bar trivia scores get beaten, I can’t imagine if I had the all-time home run record.

Can’t wait to see how Barry handles it. C’mon, A-Rod.

June 19, 2007

The Three Gentlemen from Durham

Filed under: NCAA — Tags: , , , , — Perich @ 9:30 am

Duke DA Disbarred

DURHAM, N.C. (AP) — A judge said he would suspend District Attorney Mike Nifong on Tuesday after learning that the prosecutor disbarred for his handling of the Duke lacrosse rape case intended to stay in office for another month.

Earlier in the day, Duke University announced it had reached an undisclosed financial settlement with the three former lacrosse players falsely accused of rape last year.

Nifong, who was disbarred Saturday for breaking more than two dozen rules of professional conduct in his handling of the case, said in a letter released Monday that he would leave office July 13. His departure date wasn’t soon enough for Hudson, who decided to suspend Nifong from office.

Mike Nifong, ex-attorneyIt’s been clear to anyone who’s been following the case of the three Duke lacrosse players accused of rape – Reade Seligmann, Collin Finnerty and David Evans – that the case has been mishandled from the beginning. Even if the case against the three students was airtight, it’s improper for a District Attorney to go on a national news program and call the defendants “a bunch of hooligans [whose] daddies could buy them expensive lawyers”.

But as more information came out, the hollowness of Nifong’s case became more obvious. The accuser told vastly different stories to hospital personnel and to police. She picked her assailants not out of a lineup but out of a stack of photos of the entire lacrosse team – a process guaranteed to nab a white defendant, but not the guilty party. There was little to no medical evidence of rape, and no DNA evidence connecting any of the three men. And on 60 Minutes, the other dancer who’d been performing with the accuser that night, Kim Roberts, said she hadn’t left the accuser alone long enough for an assault to have occurred.

Duke Blue Devil(To be fair, Ed Bradley’s interview with Roberts suggests that the boys were hardly gentlemen – they were drunk, rowdy, and grew irate when they felt the women stopped dancing too early. Other witnesses claimed to hear the boys yelling racial epithets at the women after they left. But none of this lends credence to a rape charge)

Now, more than a year later, all charges have been dropped and the Attorney General of North Carolina has declared the three boys “innocent.” Mike Nifong has stepped down as D.A. and, as of Tuesday morning, has been more or less fired.

So has justice finally been done? Not quite.
(more…)

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