Nerds on Sports

Brett Favre announced his retirement today, ending an amazing seventeen year career, which included 253 consecutive starts at quarterback, 160 wins, 63 games with at least three touchdowns, and 3 AP NFL MVP awards. I will admit to not closely following his career except in a prurient sort of way, but I know enough that his career achievements are amazing and speak of an incredible amount of dedication.

Favre left a voicemail for Chris Mortensen this morning. And the clip for some dumb reason omits the first part of the voicemail, where he starts off by saying, “I’m just tired.” And he stammers through describing all his reasons. And he says that he would have big shoes to fill if he stayed. And it’s just so heartbreaking.

The perfect season has been foiled at the last minute before.

From The Washington Post’s The Redskins Book:

The 1942 Redskins went 10-1. Their only loss was 14-7 to the Giants in the second game of the season, a score they reversed against the Giants amid a nine-game winning streak. The Redskins allowed only 13 points in their last four games. Once more, their title-game foe would be the Bears. The Bears, who had won 18 straight games, were favored.

The defending champion Bears’ 11 wins in 1942 were rough, physical victories staked on hard-hitting defense. The Redskins had gotten back into contending shape after a mediocre 1941 on the legendary arm, back, and quick-kicking leg of Sammy Baugh. The favored Chicago team quickly went up 6-0. But the final score was 14-6, with the last 1 yard scoring play a handoff to Andy Farkas. By all accounts, it was smash-mouth football, the kind of game that you can’t watch without wincing every minute of the way– despite the fact that “NFL commissioner Elmer Layden ordered ‘a clean game.’” (Goodell shouldn’t have to worry about a ‘clean game’ on the field- just keep Tom Petty from flashing some tit and everyone’s happy. Also, check the Giants’ Gatorade jugs for audio transmitting devices.)

The Bears had won 18 straight. The Redskins stopped them. All it took was a charter member of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. And George Halas off coaching duty due to naval service. And… ok, fine, so let’s just stick with the “18 and out” part.

Then, there’s at least one recent example of a perfect season bid gone unrealized with a connection to this weekend’s contest:

That video is never going to get old.The connection, of course, is the coach of the then-victorious Eagles: Tom Coughlin. Sure, it’s a stretch, and there’s pretty much no comparison of even the biggest NCAA game to any pro game, but the man did coach an underdog to ‘glory’ once before. Hell, they even got to play in the Carquest bowl or some shit. And that loss sent the ND program into a slow spiral which… well, you saw what happened this year.

I’ve been a Giants fan my whole life. Baseball’s my first love, of course, but I can remember watching Simms, Bavaro, Mowatt, and LT lead the charge in Pasadena, mere months after Mookie poked a dribbler through some guy’s legs. It was a glorious time to be a six-year-old sports nut in Queens. And I am grateful to this day that my family were not Jets fans. That would suck. A lot.

Given the reigning baseball champions, I can’t shake the feeling like there’s some guileless little kid in Quincy or Watertown or wherever, MA, who doesn’t yet know that he’s supposed to be a smug asshole about cheering for his teams, just that he likes Varitek and it was fun to see the Sox win, and his dad yells about the Patriots a lot and it’s fun to see them win. For that kid, sure, it’d be nice if the Patriots won.

For the rest of you, eat a dick. 24-21, smash-mouth Giants victory.

This is the end of today’s PICKSTRAVAGANZA by the Nerds on Sports staff. Read the previous five posts for more “insight” from the nerds.

“So, dad, I hear you skipped work today.”

“Yeah, I felt pretty bad.  I should be all set for Sunday, though.”

“Well that’s good.  I’d rather you sick now than too sick to make the chili.”

“The package is on the way.  I should get it Friday.”

“Glad to hear it.  I hope it does some good.”

“This game is going to be a lot closer than everyone thinks it’ll be.  We’re gonna win this thing.”

“Maybe.  They just have so many weapons.  It’ll come down to the pass rush.  Listen, dad, I gotta jet. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Let’s Go Giants.”

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I was eight years old when the New York Giants beat the Buffalo Bills in the SuperBowl.  I don’t remember Norwood’s kick sailing wide right, but I do remember the moment after.  The Giants burst into celebration on the sideline, and Bill Parcells was smiling as he ran on to the field in that sweater he wore.  My dad picked me up and tossed me into the air and I was terrified that I’d bang my head against the ceiling.  We were all laughing and cheering.  My grandfather, my father and me.  And the Giants at Tampa Stadium.

That was the purest moment of sport I had ever experienced.  Three generations of men (or, rather, two generations of men and one generation of me) that had grown up within a dozen miles of Giants Stadium watched one of the most amazing displays we could possibly watch.  Neither before nor since have I seen my father that happy.  The fan in me was defined that Sunday night, as we celebrated in the living room.

Every year, on SuperBowl Sunday, my dad watches the Giants/Bills game, and the Giants/Broncos game from 4 years earlier.  You remember SuperBowl XXI, right?  It’s the one where the Denver receivers stopped running cross routes in the second half because they were terrified.  He makes his chili as the grainy VHS tapes are playing, and pulls out every piece of Giants merchandise he owns.  Last year, the Nintendo Wii was incorporated into the pregame festivities.  This year, the Wii’s coming back and is being joined by a Giants rug and Lawrence Taylor Fathead.

The reason why I want the Giants to win is because of my father.

I was asked how folks from New Jersey pick their teams.  It’s a family thing.  Seeing the man or woman that raised you happy makes you happy.  Taking a roadtrip to a patch of the greenest grass on Earth that is surrounded by 60,000 fans makes memories that never fade.  Nowadays, I know more about the daily goings on of the New England Patriots than I do about the Giants’.  I’m not as familiar with the non-Strahan-and-Umenyiora elements of the defensive line as I should be.  I flat-out hate the tight end.  I remeber the stench of Giants Stadium more than the turf.  But they’re the team I picked when I was being tossed into the air as a child.  They’re mine.

I’ve been adopted by Patriots fans because I know as much about their team as they do.  Gillette Stadium is beautiful.  The Kraft family is intelligent and charitable.  Tom Brady is legend.  And I cheer for New England every game.

Except this one.

So I suppose that’s my prediction for the SuperBowl.  I predict that I’ll be cheering hard for New York.

Hey dad, Let’s Go Giants.

This is the 5th installment in today’s PICKSTRAVAGANZA by the Nerds on Sports staff. Check back on the hour from 11 AM to 4 PM for more “insight” from the nerds.

We’re not here for the Giants.

I repeat that the Bud commercials, the FOX globalcast, Tom Petty, the pomp and circumstance: none of them are here for the Giants. For all of their efforts this season, they earn the right to play a sixty minute football game. The Super Bowl is never really about football anyway, and even if it were, the pretty boys to the north would earn the acclaim. The accolades will reduce this year’s NFC Champion to the Washington Generals
in cleats. Read more »

Since I’m a no-good, unimaginative hack, I am going to take the same questions Serpico answered, and answer them myself. This isn’t the first time I’ve done something like this. But before I get into the letters, I have to get something off of my chest.

The New York Football Giants are a terrible football team. Ever since Serpico was a wee lad, the giants have been terrible. Remember in 1995 when the Patriots were terrible. They were a 6-10 team, but the Giants were worse — 5-11. Or how about 1997 when both the Patriots and the Giants won their respective divisions. The Giants were worse due to losing in the wild card round.

All I’m saying is that Serpico doesn’t like terrible teams — He actually stopped caring about baseball when the Yankees didn’t have the best record in baseball this year. How can I prove it? He had to email me on the deadline to fix his fantasy baseball lineup for a playoffs week. So I have an answer for Serpico: Follow the Patriots. You are a fair weather fan and we all know it. Just find the biggest band wagon, grab your instrument, and hop on.

Now for the actual questions. Read more »

Last week, my friend Pete asked me a sports question that I’ve never been asked.  In fact, it was a question that I’ve never heard get asked before.

“Is Tom Brady really that good?”

Intriguing, right?  But Pete didn’t stop there.  He articulated his concerns further:

“How much of his success is attributable to Randy Moss and his other receivers? How much of it is attributable to his offensive line, his coach, the rest of his team, etc.? Read more »