Tag: Madden

Sports Video Games Are Too Real!

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bentdI’ve written about sports video games before, and I do this for a reason. I’ve broached on topics from aussyelo lol accounts to high-end EA sports. I like sports (hence the blog) and video games (hence the blog) but I am not physically cut out for many of the sports I enjoy. Also, at times I prefer fandom to actually playing — especially those sports where’s I’d likely break bones. But has it come to a point where the games are extremely accurate simulations?

FIFA soccer (the video game) has a World Cup event. I wonder if players from the same countries dominate every time like the real World Cup?

Madden doesn’t just suck at announcing in video game form, he sucks at the real thing too:

In a recent playoff game, Mr. Madden said the New York Giants, who faced a third down with 10 yards to go, had not performed well in those situations. Seconds later, Mr. Madden’s NBC booth partner, Al Michaels, called his attention to a graphic on the screen which noted that the Giants were tops in the NFL in third-and-long situations.

Find more examples from that article in the Wall Street Journal and wonderful comments section of The Big Lead. So it seems that EA has definatly got one thing right. What about the realism of the game?

For that I turn to a monolith of Nerd on Sport — Mark Cuban. ????? ???? ????? Yup, the now owner of the Dallas Mavericks who made a good chunk of his early money from selling a website to Yahoo. He wrote on his blog:

NBA Live 09 is becoming a management tool in the NBA.

That’s right – good enough to be used by the real NBA, live. ??? ???? ????? ?? ???????? ?????? And it sounds like a good plan to me. What better way to try out how some differing strategies might play out against a certain team.

So what I’m getting at, is that maybe these games have gotten to real. Is that possible — I mean it is “just a game. ????? ??????? ” Either way, if Cuban is looking for a new hire to run his NBA Live division – I enjoy Dallas, and the AA Center is very nice.

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Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, and Pitch.

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Danica Patrick SwimsuitSo almost 2 weeks ago I retreated to my cave of depression and solitude after some certain footballing events. But the time and reflecting have pulled me out of hiding and back here to blabbering on about nothing. Aren’t you glad?

So to get you back in the mood for my posts, I’m going to start you off with some hot ladies. First off the Indy Car hottie and Go Daddy front woman — Danica Patrick. She’s what Sports Illustrated is using to rationalize the “sports” in the Swimsuit Edition this year. ????? ???? ?????? Check out the full spread and the interview with Dan Patrick (Yes, it’s hilarious that they have similar names — I can’t read the article without laughing. I also can’t stop the sarcasm.) Also, what’s with the granny panties in picture 33? Since this is swimsuit edition time, for more hotness check out the athlete’s wives section or the bodypainting section. Also you can read the interviews with each model so you can decide which ones are bitches.

After the hot women I want to mention some nerdy news. EA Games has extended their license with the NFL. So I guess they hope Madden stays alive for 5 more years and they don’t have to make many innovations. Don’t you love the “free market?” EA is a bitch.

I hear Uno (aka Ch. K-Run’s Park Me In First) the beagle was named Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Tuesday night over some champion poodle bitches. First beagle to ever win the award at Westminster. One thing to note is that even though Snoopy is a beagle, he doesn’t look anything a beagle. This probably explains Snoopy’s lack of a Best in Show award (or even a Best in Class award). Actually Snoopy is nothing like a beagle. ??? ????? Uno walks on four legs and doesn’t fly around on his house. Uno doesn’t type notes on a typewriter — he uses his laptop. ????? ???? ??? He looks so cute when he’s working and wearing glasses.

Oh and one more thing: pitchers and catchers (no, it’s not gay) have reported to spring training and Josh Beckett is fat.

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Crazy Football Predictions

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As Perich mentioned yesterday, it’s the second happiest time of the year. There are many signs that are pointing to this fact: all the sports blogs are posting about football, everyone in your office is asking about this year’s Fantasy Football league, and Madden 2008 is available for purchase. I’m part of the first one now; I already consider my a lost cause; and I’ve thought about renting the 17th roster update for EA’s largest game — They have this new “weapons” system that sounds a bit intriguing. ????? ??????? ?? ????????

But football isn’t actually here just yet, but I will tell you what to expect from this year. (Note: I am no expert and I’ve only done about 2 minutes of research.)

  • You can expect another well known football player to get arrested and fined by the NFL.
  • Michael Vick will spend a year in prison. During that time he will be able to work out more often, increase his strength training, and do some reading. The results of this will be threefold: 1 – there will be a football match against the guards that the prisoners win. 2 – The increase in strength will allow Vick to play as his own offensive line. And finally 3 – the increased reading time will allow Vick to earn his associates degree in both refrigerator maintenance and nursing.
  • Crowd noise will be on a rise throughout the league now that the crowd noise penalty has been stricken from the records.
  • Younger sister of Jets center Nick Mangold will be heavily scouted by colleges around the country until she tells them all football is just a hobby, she wants to be a doctor.
  • The New England Patriots are going to win every game they decide to play this season.
  • The New England Patriots will decide not to play their final game of the regular season. ???? ??????
  • Beckham will cry when he doesn’t make the playoffs Sorry, wrong “football”
  • ADD interruption: Check out this Slip & Slide.
  • LaDainian Tomlinson will rush for approximately one million yards.
  • Due to the Madden Curse, Vince Young will have 3 heart attacks, a broken arm, and catch malaria this season.

That’s all I can think of for now. What do you think is going to happen this year? ?????

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Kiss the Rings

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Patriots Super Bowl RingYou ever wish you had a championship ring you could accidentally give to a Russian? ???? ???? ??? ????? Ever wish you had something tangible that you could wear to let everyone know how great you are at Madden? Perhaps you have wanted to hand over a weeks paycheck to EA Games? Are you a Yankees fan and desire a large jewel encrusted ring to use when you tell all other baseball fans to “kiss the rings?” Can your girlfriend whoop your ass in Madden and you’re looking for the perfect way to propose? Do you enjoy shelling out a few hundred bills for large flashy finger bling? ????? ?????? ??? ???? Are you deranged enough to think that one of these rings will make you cool? Is your name Sonic and are you a hedgehog? You think that if Peyton “get off my fucking TV” Manning can get a ring, so can you? Maybe you just want the world to know that you can dominate a computer?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions let me just say: What the fuck is wrong with you? Really? I would like to know. Send me an email at imcrazy AT nerdsonsports.com and let me know. Also for you I have this lovely link where you can learn about the little ring that Madden2008 will be offering.

Now if this were the “One Ring” or a ring of +2 agility then we’d be in business… but it’s not. ????? ??? ??????

Next year we can only hope for Madden 2009 Cock Rings. (“Ya like that? I’m gonna fuck you like I did the Colts in the Super Bowl!”)

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Madden ’08 Cover and Who Not to Draft in Fantasy Football

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Vince Young during his great Texas daysIt’s official, Vince Young, a sophomore Quarterback on the Tennessee Oilers Titans will be the Madden Football Roster Update v2.008 cover model this year. And according to ESPN, (Yes, the same ESPN that decided that the first week of baseball didn’t happen and erased all reference to it in it fantasy site.) he wasn’t even the front runner. What does this honor get Mr. Young? Well, he gets his face on every different size of box and every console ever known to exist. (They make Madden for cell phones; I wouldn’t be surprised if they still made Madden for the Commodore 64.) He also gets to be in some Madden commercials.

What he also gets is cursed. Read More

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