Part the Second of an ongoing translation of a recently discovered Akkadian text. The prologue can be found at this link.
Perhaps the most curious component of the tablets discovered under Kauffman stadium is their continued reference to (among other items): hot dogs, 12-6 curves, and Runelvys Hernandez, none of which are known to have existed in the ancient Fertile Crescent.
I.i: The Shepherd of Kansas City Read more »
A recent architectural expedition
to the famed “Cool Crest Putting Diamond” of Kauffman Stadium (”right next to the Little K in right field”) discovered a little copper box containing a forgotten epic. Carbon dating revealed it to be “hella old,” but this assessment was quickly cast into doubt, as the “scientist” in charge of this research was revealed to be a fourteen-year -old hot dog seller.
What follows is a painstaking translation of this important, if highly, highly, dubious document, broken into small installments for accessibility and, well, it’s really long. Check back each Tuesday as Nerds on Sports brings you additional pieces of this most important scholarship.
THE EPIC OF GIL MECHE
He who has seen everything, I will make known to the lands.
I will teach about him who experienced all things…
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