Tag: Football

[Business Day One] The Worldwide Leader

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This is a dead time in sports. Baseball is still shaking off that All Star nap that it took and everyone associated is trying to work off the 5 pounds they gained from their Celebrity table tennis paddles matches and Bowling tournaments. The pre-break freshness of a young season has faded, and the playoff chase has really yet to begin. Unless you’re a big fan of college recruiting, football news is pretty infrequent. Basketball summer leagues have nothing to do with anything, and are justifiably not followed by fans, coaches or even most players. And hockey is hockey.

This makes ESPN’s job rather difficult. They need to fill numerous SportsCenters each day with compelling stories that will draw an audience and keep the ratings high. ???? ???? ?????? As someone that watches SportsCenter every day, I can say definitively that they are failing. ESPN, who has an entire department dedicated to flashy graphics and laser sound effects, cannot keep the mid-July doldrums entertaining. Granted, I don’t think anyone can, but watching ESPN fail is like watching your dad get smacked around. Emasculating to a frightening degree.

But damn if ESPN isn’t trying. The Worldwide Leader launched two big things at us to try to ease the post-All-Star, pre-Playoff sports deficiency. This month, we were treated the ESPYs and the launch of the Who’s Now tournament. I sure as heck appreciate the network’s tenacity, but I think they only went 1-for-2 at the plate with these. I loved the former and hated that latter…

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The Wit of Mel Kiper, Jr; The Experience of Mel Kiper, Sr

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Apparently, the big news in the NFL is over expert fantasy drafts (source: NFL.com). These aren’t just your mom & pop’s beer-and-pretzels fantasy leagues. Oh, hell, no. These are “the most prominent online and print companies” (including, oddly enough, NFL.com), the same guys who tell each other that this is Drew Brees’ year over coffee and crullers every August.

Sadly, your NerdsOnSports football correspondent was moving this weekend, so we didn’t submit our picks in time. But I’ve had it with Michael Fabiano’s whiny voicemails, so I’ll post late and let you compare our picks against the experts.

1. Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chefs. It’s between him and Ladainian first round, and I always go with a JoePa boy if I can help it.

2. Peyton Manning, QB, Baltimore Indianapolis Colts. I know, I know – Peyton Manning’s not that great of a quarterback. But this is fantasy football, remember? You get points for completion yards, even if you consistently choke in the red zone. This is the biggest scam since the Teapot Dome and I’m getting in on the ground floor. Peyton’ll add an easy 4,000 yards to my yearly tally. Plus, I know he’s not getting arrested.
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[Business Day One] Don’t Call It Retirement

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I was browsing the channels yesterday and stumbled upon a commercial for NBC’s Fourth Of July Fireworks Spectacular.  As a resident of Boston, I do not have much interest in staying in and watching a televised party.  Wouldn’t make sense to, what with the Pops playing while barges on the Charles River launch fireworks for all of Eastern Massachusetts to see.  However, my interest was immediately piqued when I saw who was hosting – the not unattractive Natalie Morales, and the New York Giants’ all time leading rusher, Tiki Barber.

“Whoa,” I actually said out loud.  “Good for Tiki.”

Tiki Barber is 32 years old and, if he was still playing, would be entering the phase of his career where commentators begin using phrases like “timeless,” “elder statesman” or “lot of miles on those legs” during the pre-game shows.  Every hit he sustained would give the analysts pause for a half-second longer, to see if the aging running back got gained his last yards.  Retirement questions would begin to pile up, and we’d get to hear Tiki answer them every week in front of the relentless New York media.

But Tiki Barber is not still playing.  Read More

Kiwanuka Update: June 15, 2007

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KiwanukaBased on my irrational love for all things Boston College (I love Flutie Flakes – they just taste better), here is an update for Mathias Kiwanuka, outstanding DE for the Boston College Eagles from 2002-2006.

 This is from ESPN’s Len Pasquerelli here (Insider subscription required):

“Although Mathias Kiwanuka continues to have a few rough spots in his transition, the New York Giants are sticking to their plan to move the defensive end to strongside linebacker for this season.  Read More

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Curtain

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Roger GoodellWe are approximately ten months into the Roger Goodell era and arguably the most significant development has been the controversial and often-discussed personal conduct policy for NFL players. (I don’t consider the international expansion of the sport, including the recently aborted China Project and next year’s London Game to be a Goodell decision, but a remnant of Tagliabue’s brilliant reign as commissioner.) My question is whether the policy, in its admitted infancy, has had its intended effect. Read More

[Business Day One] A Wish List

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I had a dream last night about the end of the world. No joke. I was at a dock in Florida, talking to some people I knew, when we started hearing the detonations of atomic bombs in the distance. A giant tidal wave slammed into the harbor where I was, destroying the boats in the water and homes on the hills. And, in that way you just know things in dreams, I knew this was happening all over the country. Waking up in a cold sweat this morning (or was that ocean water), I was thankful to be alive. ??? ???? ???????? I started going through the mental list of all the things that weren’t actually destroyed that I was happy about. Family, friends, hobbies, burritos and the sweet escape of sport.

Scared to go back to sleep right away, I kept my mind occupied by thinking about what I want to see happen in the world of sports, now that I had a new lease on life. I crafted a Wish List that I want to present here to the Gods of Sport, that they may hear and abide. So, mighty and just Gods of Sport, hear me, for I seek only what will make your purview stronger!

Please allow the Spurs to win in four games.

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Double Secret Probation

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In order to alter the size of the tagcloud to my left, your right, I’d like to talk about a sport that’s not baseball.

pacman.jpgOn Monday, June 4, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell handed down a series of suspensions for off-field misbehavior:

  • Tank Johnson, DT, Chicago Bears: for violating probation with misdemeanor firearms possession: eight games
  • Chris Henry, WR, Cincinnati Bengals: driving with a suspended license, supplying alcohol to minors: eight games
  • Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, cornerback, Tennessee Titans: aggravated assault, inciting violence, travelling with gun-toting felons: one season

All three are appealing the suspensions.I don’t feel the least bit of remorse for either of these three. All of them are repeated delinquents: Pacman Jones has been arrested five times in two years, Henry a mere 4 times in fourteen months, and Johnson was already on probation for a firearms charge nine months earlier. Criminal charges clearly haven’t been sufficient, especially since these guys earn enough money to defend themselves out of anything short of assaulting a federal officer with rolled-up stolen missile plans.

sig229ba.jpgI have no sympathy for their plight, but I do understand how they ended up where they did. Each of these young men were earning more money in a month than I earn in a year. Tank Johnson’s suspension, for instance, is estimated to cost him $255,000, which works out to $42,500 per unregistered firearm (and you thought your hobby was expensive). College athletes at universities with strong football programs already live the life of Achilles – and that’s when they’re (technically) not allowed to be paid for their work (ha ha, wink wink). Throw $1,212,000 at me within my first two years out of college and some of it just might end up on a stage in a Vegas stripclub.
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[Business Day One] Harmful If Swallowed

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Magic the Gathering Poison PillThe National Football League is a marvel in it’s operation. Profit sharing, a tradition of competent business leadership, a dedication to embracing new technology, and a heavily buttressed construct of free agency and union-ownership relations have created a magnificent machine. It is designed to make money, continually expand the fan base and put the best possible product on the field. I love it as both a sports geek and a business geek.

With any great and complicated system, from the NFL to Starcraft, there are exploits. Little wrinkles within the rules that allow for someone to cheat within the confines of the code. It’s like loading 4 Revised Edition Millstones into your Magic: The Gathering deck and grinding away your opponents’ card count until he (or she… in theory) loses by default. Nothing wrong with it, legally, but certainly a “slap your forehead for being a victim to it” move. These exploits are cruel and unfortunate when you are on the wrong end, but absolutely hilarious to watch. Particularly when they are done without apology.

In the NFL, my absolute favorite hack is something called The Poison Pill. It is a delightful little fold that can allow a franchise to pick up a restricted free agent by making his current team unable to match the contract. Allow me to explain how it works.

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