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July 14, 2008

[Business Day One] Know Your All Stars – NL

Filed under: Baseball,Business Day One — Tags: , , , , — Serpico @ 10:48 am

In last week’s Business Day one column, I did you all the great service of introducing some of the lesser known American League All Stars to the blog reading public.  And this week, as promised, I’ll do the same with the National League.  Apparently, AAAA Baseball has stars too!

We’re all fairly familiar with the suddenly ageless Chipper Jones and ocassionally creepy looking Alfonso Soriano, but there are quite a few players that are separated from the public by a thirty foot high wall of apathy.  Let’s take a look at a few.

-Astros first baseman Lance Berkman coined his own nickname: The Big Puma.  This replaced his old nickname, which was Fat Elvis.

-Marlins shortstop Hanley Ramirez is, according to his own website, “an incredible father,” has Denzel Washington as his favorite actor and a Lamborghini Murcielago as his fifth favorite car.  Really, just fifth?

-If you want to get to Ashland, Kentucky, you may need to drive on Diamondbacks pitcher Brandon Webb.  Or, more specifically, a highway named in his honor.

-Brewers outfielder Ryan Braun is involved with Affliction Clothing, a fashion designer out of California that apparently outfits the scariest and deadliest looking men on Earth.  Not tough enough?  Well, he’s also called the Hebrew Hammer by at least one guy.

-Other Brewers outfield Corey Hart is apparently quite an accomplished singer in his spare time, releasing the famous pop hit “Sunglasses at Night” back in the 1980s.  He’s sinced toured the world and… wait… different Corey Hart?  Hmmm.  Well this is awkward.

-Ok, I’ll get it right this time.  Dodgers catcher Brian Wilson was widely regarded as the creative force behind the Beach Boys and… SON OF A… sorry.

Happy All Starring, everybody!

March 25, 2007

The Single Best Fantasy Draft Pick Ever

Filed under: Baseball — Tags: , , , — Peiser @ 5:39 pm

…would be Corey C. Hart, possible outfielder for the Milwaukee Brewers and probable disguise of the most phenomenal 80’s sunglass wearer ever. The fact that this guy is involved in about half the trades in our league each year (there are not a lot of trades) makes me smile on a semi-monthly basis.

But a close second would be expending a measly 22nd round pick for a violent sociopath who happens to swing a mean bat. Travis Lee decided to hang up his squiggly hat, and Nick Johnson (oh, wait, wrong one– try this link)isn’t gonna be back for a while… so, Nationals fans, guess who’s your opening day first baseman? Yep, it’s the career leader in domestic violence warrants, Dmitri Young!

At the end of last season, it looked like the end of the road for the increasingly unhinged Dmitri. But now that lil’ brudder Delmon’s in the majors, Dmitri’s got a reason to persevere. He’s a driver, he’s a winner, things are gonna change he can feel it, and I am going to run right the hell away with the fantasy crown this year on those supple, cornrowed shoulders.

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