Nerds on Sports

Hey internets, remember me? I’m the webmaster for this site and I was writing on Wednesdays for a while. Well, I have been a bit busy. In my real life I switched jobs and that was stealing most of my free time. I am now a “web development engineer” as opposed to my previous job where I was a “software engineer.” For some of you I basically just said I went from being a “computer guy” to being a “computer guy,” but the truth is I went from being a “MS SQL guy” to an “ASP.NET guy.” Don’t worry, I’m not going to switch from WordPress to a C# software package, I still have to, at least, check out version 2.5 before making rash changes.

Enough of the computer/software talk, on to the sports. Since I’ve finally settled into my new routine, I was able to take in a full weekend (Saturday) of sports.

First event of the weekend was a Rolex Sports Car series race: GAINSCO Grand Prix of Miami at Homestead Miami Speedway (say that 3-times fast). Read more »

From the Washington Post:

The team will host an exhibition game Saturday against the Baltimore Orioles before opening the season with a nationally televised game Sunday night against the Atlanta Braves — one in which (President) Bush is scheduled to both throw out the first pitch and appear in the ESPN broadcast booth.

I’m sure we’ll see the hard-hitting journalism Jon Miller is noted for, as well as the factual accuracy of a Joe Morgan to back us up. I think we see where this is going…

“I remember playing with Pete Rose on that ‘76 team, he told me, ‘Curveball, fastball, all it is is baseball, and that’s what you need to win.’”
“Slider down and away.”
“You know Joe, it’s, it’s a crime that Pete Rose idn’t in the Hall of Fame. He knew what he was doing, and the punishment, you know, the punishment…”
“Fit?”
“Fit, and he’s served his time. He served his time and did his shame and now it should be time for him to get that Hall of Fame ticket.”
“The pitch, swung on and looped up over second, a base hit for Lo Duca puts a man on with one out in the third.”
“Speaking of Pete, I remember late 1983 I knew we were going different ways from the Phillies, and I told him, ‘I’m gonna know when you get to 4,000 hits, and I’m gonna be there when you get past Cobb. And I went to Oakland and he went to Montreal…”
“Ball high to Ryan Church, and the count is 1-0.”
“He got his 4,000th hit!”
“Absolutely did, Mr. President!”
“Hahahahaha…”
“Heh heh heh heh heh heh…”
“Heh, yes, there’s a strike…”
“Heh…I remember that game too. You know, you never forget a number like 4,000.”
“………”
“………”
“………”
“………”
“………”
“So, Laura played softball in high school, is that right?”

Washington Nationals manager Manny Acta will catch the first pitch, not catcher Paul Lo Duca, almost certainly because of his presence in the Mitchell Report. The pitch will be a strike, as the President has demonstrated time and again his effective leadership through . This will also be the highlight of the Nationals’ season.

At least one of the Nerds here is a martial artist of considerable renown and skill. But I don’t think even he could handle the flamingo style of a proper KOREAN BASEBALL FIGHT!

Thanks to ArmchairGM & DNL- brilliant.

With the Red Sox having their opening day over in Japan, I dutifully set my alarm clock for 5:50 AM so I could kickoff baseball season in style, i.e. in pajamas in the dark with the sound turned real low. Co-editor Willis had suggested trying to talk via interweb as the game was going on, but I’m not fancy enough to have a laptop. I did, however, keep notes throughout the whole affair, and am presenting them to you now.

The Night Before: In order to prepare waking up ass-early, I readied myself by going to bed around 10 (which would afford me an equal night’s sleep as usual). I made myself sleepy by drinking Guinness and warm milk, though not at the same time.

c. 2-5 AM: Weird dreams. I don’t really remember what they were about - something about replacement dinners? I dunno. Anyway, I do know that in more than one dream I said, “I have to leave so I can get up early and watch the game.” No, really.

5:50 AM: Snooze button.

5:57 AM: I trudge myself out of bed, make myself comfy on the couch and fiddle with the remote until I find NESN. I turn to the channel just as the Japanese national anthem is being played. Mildly disconcerting. And then the managers are given bouquets of flowers. I wonder how Joe Torre would react to a bouquet of flowers. Or Earl Weaver.

6:07 AM: I find it reassuring to hear the voices of Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy. I take a minute to wonder what would happen if Remy were lost in downtown Tokyo without a translator. Would he ever find his way home? It’s like a zen koan.

6:11 AM: Joe Blanton takes the mound. He is on my fantasy baseball league this year, but these Tokyo games don’t count toward anything in our league due in part to their peculiar scheduling.
So I have no feelings of ambivalence, but would rather not have a Red Sox defeat that crushes his soul. Or patella.

6:19 AM: A Mark Ellis HR. Oh, goody.

6:23 AM: Jack Cust is at bat. His presence makes me wonder if there are going to be any good Mitchell-report heckles this year. It is too early in the morning for me to think of any.

6:38 AM: Seeing a scruffy Jason Varitek reminds me that I’ve missed baseball oh so very much.

Read more »

We here at Nerds On Sports like to educate as much as we like to entertain.  As such, today’s Business Day One will tackle some Frequently Asked Questions regarding the splendid time of year when Major League Baseball’s Spring Training excitedly evolves into the regular season.  So sit back, relax, and get your learn on.

What’s the deal with the Boston/Oakland series being played in Japan? 

-Allow us to clear up a commonly held misconception - The Regular Season begins tomorrow morning at 6 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.  The Red Sox and Athletics are not playing an exhibition game tomorrow; they are indeed kicking off their respective 162 game seasons.  There are still Cactus and Grapefruit League games going on, just not in Japan.  In Japan, the regular season is getting underway.  And yes, it is stupid.

Why are my normally nice friends insulting each other by saying things like “you reached big time for Jack Cust” and “I will dominate you in ERA?”

-Fantasy Baseball is also in spring training as well.  During the fantasy baseball preseason, owners make ludicrous claims regarding the potential of their imaginary pitching staffs, infields and bench players.  This does not make your friends bad people, just overzealous ones.  This is the season for absurd shows of baseball geek bravado, and it will pass as soon as injuries begin piling up.

What should we expect out of the last week of Spring Training?

-The games are going to be more or less like regular season games.  Starters are going to stay in longer, folks are going to hurt themselves, and fans are going to have a fairly good understanding of how things are going to work for the first month of the season.  That is to say, if your team stinks right now, odds are they’re going to continue to stink once the games count.

What is the best way to get out of work to catch Opening Day?

-Well, soldier, this one is tricky.  Every intelligent boss in the country understands that at least someone under his or her charge is going to try to weasel out of work on Opening Day.  If your boss is the kindly sort, he or she may just let you take the day off.  But if they’re a hard-nosed, you’re going to need to set up an excuse days in advance.  For instance, start walking with a slight limp and complain about soreness in your knee.  Keep it up for a few days and then on Opening Eve, mention to your boss that things are getting worse and you’re going to make an appointment with a specialist to see if there’s inflamation.  If your boss is the least bit human and you’re a fair liar, you’ll be at the ballpark for the first pitch.

It’s March, which means it’s time to revisit the baseball season’s most generic and recurrent Spring Training stories! Let’s get started! Read more »

What’s going on around the blogosahedron?

Couple weeks ago, I mentioned Kyle Kendrick’s “trade” to Japan. Well, last week he got his revenge. [Balls and Sticks]

With the drunkenness of St. Patrick’s Day fast approaching, you should get your eyes adjusted to the disgusting things that you will probably see. The Florida Marlins are starting a male dance team called the Manatees (yup, like the cows of the sea — Dancing Cows of the Sea). [Ump Bump]

Tony Kornheiser is huge fan of the bloggers:

It’s a real, it’s a real mistake, and it happens. And I don’t want to single anybody out in this area, but, you know, some people sit at home and they watch TV and they watch radio and they “blog” about certain “things,” and they think they know what they’re talking about, and they think they have sources. They have no sources. They make stuff up. They’re toads. They’re little toads. Actually, they’re pimples on the behind of the greater body politic in this country and in this city (everyone in the studio cackles for no reason). And because, because they have access to airwaves and three or four people read them, they think, ‘Oh, I’m very important.’

In fact, in fact, if a huge dumpster landed on their mother’s house (cackling), and got all the way into the basement and crushed them (more cackling), nobody would care. Nobody would miss them. They provide nothing good, no service that’s any good at all. They, they are, they are, they are sucking mole rats (more cackling), and that’s the nicest I can be to them. But because, because they have a name, or, you know, because they get feedback from others, you know, they think they’re very important.

[Washington Post][Washington Post Again]

Read more »

Here are the exciting storylines I get to deal with as a Yankees fan this spring:

-Andy Pettitte looked decent in his Spring Training Debut, despite having to fly back and forth to Washington, DC for steroid and HGH investigation related issues.

-Lying blowhard Hank Steinbrenner descended further into self-parody after being forcibly inducted into Red Sox Nation by Boston owner John Henry.

-A bizarre cult has developed around Joba Chamberlain, a pitcher with 24 innings of professional experience.

-Yankees fans are beginning to realize how close we actually came to losing Robinson Cano and sweating at night thinking about it.

-Fans are expecting Michelle Damon to be more productive than Johnny Damon in 2008.

So this is what I’m dealing with.  Let’s Go Yanks.