Nerds on Sports

I’ve got a real hard time with basketball.

All the rage in Boston today is over the late night Kevin Garnett trade. And I’m certainly excited for Boston to get him - devil knows the Celtics could use anything up to and including Boston College-level point shaving to get a winning season again.

But apparently, you can get one player in exchange for “five players and two draft picks” and still come out ahead on the deal.

This makes no sense to me. It doesn’t even read right. Imagine Bill Belichick trading eleven players and the second and third round draft picks in exchange for Carson Palmer. Imagine Billy Beane trading his first, second and third basemen for Tom Gorzelanny.

I know, I know, apples and oranges. But as I’ve mentioned elsewhere, I have a hard time with basketball because I don’t like the inordinate influence one player has on an entire team. It’s not about the billion-dollar superstar or the sneaker deal. It’s about teamwork! It’s about ball handling! It’s about the fundamentals! Gene Hackman doesn’t give a damn whether Jimmy plays or not!

The level of despair that Boston sports fans exuded after the Celtics drew fifth in the draft lottery reached, well, truly Bostonian proportions. At that point we were just waiting out next season - Paul Pierce listlessly dribbling down the court, waiting for the shot clock to expire before bouncing the ball off his shoe and weeping - until next season, when maybe the air-driven path of a Ping Pong ball would favor us again. Now, suddenly, with the addition of a guy from the Timberwolves (?!?) to our line-up, SI puts us at third in the East. “Instant contenders.” The hell?

I’d like to be proven wrong, mostly because I like the spirit that comes from living in a four sport city. And Kevin Garnett’s a nice enough guy - just look at him! - that I’ll have no problem rooting for him. But somebody engraved in my brain at an early age that it takes more than one man to win a championship, and I’ll always be skeptical of the exception.

Apparently, the big news in the NFL is over expert fantasy drafts (source: NFL.com). These aren’t just your mom & pop’s beer-and-pretzels fantasy leagues. Oh, hell, no. These are “the most prominent online and print companies” (including, oddly enough, NFL.com), the same guys who tell each other that this is Drew Brees’ year over coffee and crullers every August.

Sadly, your NerdsOnSports football correspondent was moving this weekend, so we didn’t submit our picks in time. But I’ve had it with Michael Fabiano’s whiny voicemails, so I’ll post late and let you compare our picks against the experts.

1. Larry Johnson, Kansas City Chefs. It’s between him and Ladainian first round, and I always go with a JoePa boy if I can help it.

2. Peyton Manning, QB, Baltimore Indianapolis Colts. I know, I know - Peyton Manning’s not that great of a quarterback. But this is fantasy football, remember? You get points for completion yards, even if you consistently choke in the red zone. This is the biggest scam since the Teapot Dome and I’m getting in on the ground floor. Peyton’ll add an easy 4,000 yards to my yearly tally. Plus, I know he’s not getting arrested.
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So last night was the NBA draft; and draft they did. There were no surprises early as Oden went first and Durant went second. Since I’m a Boston fan, I was wondering who the C’s would get. Now my knowledge of basketball is quite minimal, I was a fan in junior high school and some of high school (so about 15 years ago) and I have a terrible memory, but I do know the Celtics are in need of someone at every position because they currently suck. So I didn’t actually watch the draft (though I should have, just look at the hilarious picture [left] of Joakim Noah), I just followed the tickers and website reports. I get the info that the Celtics use the #5 pick to get Jeff Green from Georgetown.

So I do my due Google diligence to learn of this “Green” (look it works… Green plays for the green) character. I find this lovely chart:

Wow, his intangibles are pretty high… Wait they’ve figured out how to measure intangibles!? Lets get Jeter tested and find out where exactly he falls on this scale. I guess with intangibles like this it’s good that we got him instead of my choice of “the Chinese guy.” Danny Ainge must know what he’s doing.

Well, since I live under a basketball rock, it was at least an hour before I checked in on things again and realized that Green was part of a “super secret” trade. Would you look at that, another good player on the Celtics. Welcome to town Ray Allen, maybe I’ll write a song about/for you.

(This comes from a friend of Nerds on Sports who enjoys the Red Sox and Minor League. I thought I would share his views with all of you.)

I love minor league baseball. The MLB draft is an afterthought in the sports world. There are way too many washouts; the truth is most guys do not even make AA. Even the best of prospects usually need 1.5 seasons to make the big leagues… Craig Hansen anyone?

I, on the other hand, love the draft!! I want to know which college seniors the sox will take in order to field a team in Lowell. Which Bonus Babies the sox take a flier on in the mid rounds etc.

What follows is what the Red Sox did in 2007 plus some comments from my very novice scouting eye. I will spotlight the first 10 rounds plus those picks I found interesting in the later rounds. I also tried to include a likelihood of signing… it is just guesswork from what I have read, and the limited video I have watched. Read more »

On June 7th, Major League Baseball will hold it’s 2007 First-Year Player Draft, also known as “the baseball draft.” In about three and a half weeks, down in Disney World, all thirty teams will sit down and draft players for fifty rounds, rapid-fire style (as they only get five minutes per pick).

Also on June 7th, for the first time ever, ESPN will cover the event on national television. As a man who loves both baseball and startlingly thorough sports coverage, one may think that I would be in favor of four hours of real time analysis. This is, unfortunately, not the case at all. I think that live media coverage of the MLB draft is going to be silly, boring, and something that ought to be skipped in favor of going outside and playing catch with some friends. Or, for you nerds, getting a LAN party together.

We as sports fans have grown up on the magnificent chaos of the NFL Draft, with well-coiffed analysts slogging through stacks of statistics to provide bold commentary as the events unfold. We’re not going to get this kind of compelling television with the MLB Draft. In fact, as we’ve been raised on the football draft, this new baseball coverage is going to be a big, smoking failure by comparison. And I have three reasons why.

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One of the virtues of being in the thirties when it comes to draft day is that hey, you’re there for a reason. You’ve got shit figured out. Take it easy. Now’s the time to start making long-term investments that’ll pay off in a year or two, rather than hurrying sandbags into a collapsing levee.

So I’m going to talk about my Ravens.

1st round: Ben Grubbs, right guard, Auburn. One of the most liked linemen coming into the draft. The combine is full of those non-specific but enthusiastic notes that, were this baseball, would make Billy Beane tip over a lat press machine. “Explodes off the line” … “non-stop motor” … “mauler with a mean streak.”

On the other hand, it’s tough to quote impressive figures about a guard, so I understand the ambiguity. So here’s one impressive stat: Ben Grubbs never missed a game in college. This speaks of good health and, more importantly (on a team which still starts Jamal “Probation” Lewis and Ray “Obstruction of Justice” Lewis), good behavior.

3rd round: Yamon Figurs, wide receiver, Kansas State. The Ravens probably didn’t draft Figurs to catch passes, which is no doubt making the Texans pull their hair out. Say what you will about his hands - Figurs posted the fastest speed at the combine this year, and he ran back more than five fields’ worth of punts, twice for touchdowns. Pair him up with the like of B.J. Sams and the Ravens could once again have a punt return unit that puts points on the board. Read more »

Tis the season for fantasy baseball drafts. Weeks or, in some cases, months of dedication to the statistical analysis of every player worth drafting (and some that aren’t) culminate in one magical afternoon. Surrounded by a dozen friends, half a dozen pizzas and a CTU-esque computer bank, fantasy owners put together their teams. Paper flies everywhere and insults-masked-as-questions (”Is Armando Benitez still playing?”) abound as the rounds wear on. By the end, if you did things right, you have a group that is capable of winning a championship for you.

Here’s the kicker, though. You probably didn’t do things right. I know I didn’t, and I’m probably the only person I know that understands this. Of the ten or so people I’ve chatted with this week, from all different fantasy baseball leagues, all have given me the exact same response when asked about their team.

“Honestly, I think I have a great team.” Read more »

Ok, so even though peiseresque already mentioned this in brief, I thought I’d type up a brief list of notable draft picks for our own little league this past Sunday. I can’t give you all my thoughts - I’m still potential trading partners with the majority of this blog - but here are some thoughts I’d be willing to share with anybody.

#8 Matt Holliday, OF Colorado Rockies - Willis, San Dimas High School Baseball

I am still infuriated to an unfathomable degree that Willis made this pick before I could. This guy was around #30 in a lot of the mock drafts I saw going around, but because of the way our league is scored and the stats our league favors, he was going to make a great under the radar pick. Or so I though. Then again, since Willis and I have similar methodologies in picking players, I shouldn’t be too surprised. But still: fuck you Willis.

#39 Daisuke Matsuzaka, SP Boston Red Sox - peiseresque, East Village Unemployed Performance Artists

A week or so before the draft, I was talking to fellow league-member Brett about when the Red Sox’s brand new pitcher was going to be drafted. Given the amount of homerism in our league, my guess was that it would be Round 3, specifically by Charles and Diane’s team (who finished 13th last year). So I was slightly surprised that peiseresque was the one to pull the trigger. It’s a calculated risk - will he put up as good numbers as same-round draftees Bonderman and Zito?

#118 Jason Varitek, C Boston Red Sox - Greg F., BlueBombers2000

Every round, as a joke, I said I was drafting Tek as my homo homer pick. But even for me, Tek’s falling stats and power would not let me take him this early - 8th round. I couldn’t take him next round either - I had Jemaine Dye as a 9th round keeper - so I would’ve definitely picked him up in round 10. J.V. has been working on his offense during spring training, but whether that winds up in quantifiable results remains to be seen.

#143 Frank Thomas, DH Toronto Blue Jays - Brett, Radiant Arkham

I just find this pick amusing because Bobby had him last year and during the offseason was trying to unload him for some draft picks. He went in Round 19 last year, and Bobby had originally posted on the league board that was he looking for Round 10. I thought that was unreasonably high (indeed, Bobby later said that this was a typo; it should have said “Round 10s”), but even when it was dropped to Round 20 he got no takers. Regardless, the Bobby trade would in effect have cost two draft picks (Round 18 and whatever round that would’ve been given to Bobby); the question is whether Brett got an advantage in taking him in Round 9. He’s still a huge injury risk in my book, but he puts up very nice numbers while active.

#176 Roger Clemens, SP unsigned - Mike L., The REAL Comptrollers

Heh. Will he or won’t he this year? Angry Ed made a killing by signing Roger in Round 8 last year. Will Mike have the same luck? I have no insight into Roger’s ego, so who knows?

#213 Dan Wheeler, RP Houston Astros - RJ, Homerun-Hitting Honeymooning Homos

The RP position was really shallow this year, and by the time I decided to draft my second reliever I was stuck with the Astros setup man. The guy has an amazing OBA and ERA, and during spring training posted much better numbers than Lidge. So long as he keeps his numbers, he should suffice. Because the alternative could be:

#251 Seth McClung, RP Tampa Bay Devil Rays - Serp, The Somerville Crooners

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

#258 Kyle Farnsworth, RP New York Yankees - Angry Ed, Angry Miserable Fucks

I really love Ed’s team concept - all “angry” players. And what better player for that team than the guy who wound up on the DL after kicking an electrical fan?

And finally, my favorite out of all of my picks:

#300 David Wells, SP San Diego Padres - RJ, Homerun-Hitting Honeymooning Homos

The man formerly known as Beer Truck is now known as DIABEETUS.

That’s all, folks! It’s gonna be a long, awesome baseball season!