The problem with the pervasiveness of March Madness Brackets is that the pain of “early bracket irrelevancy” drives casual fans from watching the Final Four. Especially when your boss at work is still in contention to win and reminds you of your dreadful lack of gambling bona fides.
Well well well. The internet’s still here. I swore this whole thing would’ve flamed out by now, but here it still is. Looks like the ol’ site is here too. Hello readers! I’m Serpico! And I write about sports, the business of sports, and fan reaction to sports. At least, I did, way back when. And I suppose I ought to do it again.
So let’s jump right in, shall we?
The big news this weekend is Tiger Woods-related, and I’m so happy to be able to write that. Read More
This man is a hero. Seriously. Kids, be like him.
There are few absolutes in sports. But I can absolutely promise that this is going to grow more bizarre and hilarious and time goes on.
College football fans oscillate between “everything’s wonderful” and “fire the staff” on a weekly basis. It’s worse than any other kind of sports fickleness. Even if fans believe that their team is in a rebuilding year and they admit to themselves it’ll be a rough season before the first kickoff, they’ll still lose their minds and start demanding blood once the L’s roll in.
The most recent example of this is taking place at Florida Stae, who just took a loss at my beloved Alumni Stadium at the hands of 25-year old Freshman Dave Shinskie and the rest of the Boston College Eagles.
Stories are floating around in both the local and national press (go on, look it up) about fans and trustees demanding that longtime head coach Bobby Bowden retire after 33 years. They’ve been a couple of notches below the expected elite level for most of the 2000s, and the rumblings have been growing ever-louder. But they reach a head with every lost, with diehards becomming irrational and demanding everything from an immediate press conference announcing a resignation to Bowden being escorted off of campus by security.
Watching a coach on the hot seat provides a creepy kind of pleasure, especially when you know that the end will be soon upon him. It’s like witnessing the destruction of an empire after a long decline. You can’t help but study it with the rapt attention of a history major (well, an interested history major).
I, for one, believe it’s time for him to go. But I’ve felt that way for years. Offensive Coordinator Jimbo Fisher has been the head coach in waiting for a while. Bowden doesn’t call offense or defense, doesn’t recruit, and serves more as a grandfatherly media spokesman than any sort of on-the-sidelines leader.
That said, you have to let the man finish the season, and do it with dignity. It’s bad for a program when the coach turns over (no matter how ineffective the coach is), but it’s even worse for the coach to turn over midseason or amidst public turmoil. FSU fans should be rooting for a new coach, that’s for certain, but they should be rooting for Bowden loudly until then.
Team, here’s a quick update of the points that may be discussed in your office today. So read these and enjoy your new state of well-informedness.
-Jets QB Mark Sanchez is now sporting a creepy pencil-thin mustache.
-49ers RB Frank Gore hurt himself on his first play of the game, enraging fantasy owners everywhere.
-Brett Favre continues to just go out there and have fun… as he likes to remind us at every opportunity.
-The Titans are now 0-3, which was unexpected.
-There’s a radio commercial that has a chorus singing about Coors Light over the Monday Night Football theme. It’s hilarious.
-The Yankees have clinched the AL East and homefield advantage through the playoffs. Helpful.
-Tom Brady and the Patriots had a good outing against the well-educated Matt Ryan and the Falcons, calming the fans of New England.
-Tiger Woods just won ten million dollars.
Times are changing in Boston. We’ve now gotten new train maps (finally), and we’ve finally taken care of that holier-than-thou football attitude.
The Patriots are mortal once more, for the first time since Drew Bledsoe lumbered around in the pocket. I’m not going to waste my time talking about why (since you all know why – major surgeries, hole in the middle of the defense, slot receiver injuries), but I will take a moment to note something that some fans forget about. If you had business related issues then contact to Abrc website they give you best online business marketing information.
Fans grow weary of champions. They’d rather watch a team rise (the Jets) or a team fall (the Patriots) than a dynasty. Dynasties are boring, and only entertain 1/30th of the fans.
Whether or not the Pats continue to stay down, I am certain that talk of their presumed decline will be far richer than the thin broth that the media woould give them after a victory.
Oh Kanye. You’ve gotten so good at embarrassing white folks on stage. And I’m so glad you did it again this week, to ceremonially kick off the football season – a season where embarrassment is sure to be one of the most important topics. And boy did the season start off strong for that.
1. Bad News – Long snappers are like third base coaches. You don’t ever want them in the news. Bears LSer Patrick Mannelly decided to overstep his responsibilities in humiliating fashion by calling a direct snap to the fullback on 4th-and-long in Bears territory. Perhaps he saw a hole in the Packers front (there wasn’t one) or that a twelfth man was on the field (there was almost one… but there wasn’t one). Either way, everyone knows your name now, Patrick. And from what I hear, Chicago isn’t a friendly town.
2. See You In My Nightmares – The Richard Seymour trade fiasco was profoundly embarrassing, to be sure. But not in the way one would initially think. Richard Seymour has nothing to be embarrassed about; he was smart and avoided the media completely until everything came to rest. The Patriots have nothing to be embarrassed about, since they weren’t going to sign him next year anyway, and they were able to get a first rounder in 2011 for him. No, the shame here falls like an unforgiving spotlight on the Oakland Raiders. In the wake of reports that Oakland Coach Tom Cable put a great form tackle on an assistant, we now had a story about someone refusing to show up to work in the Black Hole even though he had to. There was rampant speculation that Seymour didn’t want to head to the Raiders because the place was a toxic environment. Media pundits took their obligatory shots at owner (and ) Al Davis for paying out the nose for a past-his-prime defensive end for a team with no playoff hopes. I’ve listened to at least three different radio sports duos talk about how wretched it must be to be a fan of the Raiders. That right there is embarrassment.
3. Coldest Winter– My boss is beating me by a solid 100 points in Fantasy Football this week, thanks to Drew Brees (his QB) throwing for six touchdowns, the Philly Defense (his D) destroying Carolina, and Donovan McNabb (my QB) cracking a rib. I’ve never seen a pounding like this in fantasy. This is savage. My co-workers offered me condolences, and they were serious. There’s nothing worse in fantasy sports than to be pitied. And this week, I am pitied.
4. Welcome to Heartbreak– Who Dey? The Denver Broncos. The Cincinnati Bengals were humbled this week by the last minute and totally unexpected heroics of Brandon “He’s Still On A Roster” Stokley. The Denver wideout caught a tip and then had the brains to run out the clock a bit before stepping into the end zone. Hateful, Brandon. Hateful. Since America got such a hearty (and heartfelt) dose of the Bengals during Hard Knocks, I think the last minute loss was felt a bit more personally. The viewing public knows (as much as you can know someone on reality TV) these guys, and they’re got to feel that thick, chunky kind of embarrassment you feel for a friend.
5. Paranoid – Despite winning a SuperBowl, no one in New York trusts Eli Manning. Not to helm a football team, not to mow a lawn, not to drive to Newark Airport from the Meadowlands. Every diehard Giants fan I know tends to think he could Delhomme with very little warning. That’s got to be a scary and unfortunate way to live. And even though he had a decent stat line in Week 1, I do not believe Eli is ever capable of fully securing the trust of the ancient and noble Giants Season Ticket Holders. How embarrassing for him.