Patriots Super Bowl RingYou ever wish you had a championship ring you could accidentally give to a Russian? Ever wish you had something tangible that you could wear to let everyone know how great you are at Madden? Perhaps you have wanted to hand over a weeks paycheck to EA Games? Are you a Yankees fan and desire a large jewel encrusted ring to use when you tell all other baseball fans to “kiss the rings?” Can your girlfriend whoop your ass in Madden and you’re looking for the perfect way to propose? Do you enjoy shelling out a few hundred bills for large flashy finger bling? Are you deranged enough to think that one of these rings will make you cool? Is your name Sonic and are you a hedgehog? You think that if Peyton “get off my fucking TV” Manning can get a ring, so can you? Maybe you just want the world to know that you can dominate a computer?

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions let me just say: What the fuck is wrong with you? Really? I would like to know. Send me an email at imcrazy AT nerdsonsports.com and let me know. Also for you I have this lovely link where you can learn about the little ring that Madden2008 will be offering.

Now if this were the “One Ring” or a ring of +2 agility then we’d be in business… but it’s not.

Next year we can only hope for Madden 2009 Cock Rings. (“Ya like that? I’m gonna fuck you like I did the Colts in the Super Bowl!”)

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  • Dude, that last line made me snort.

  • How long before someone leaks the cheat codes to duplicate all the “extraordinary achievements” which are required to unlock a ring?

  • BedelBlitz

    Can someone email me the last few paragraphs of Will’s post? I’m on a blackberry at the Colts Super Bowl Ring ceremony.

    Will – What team would you use to beat the Colts in the Super Bowl? You got an NFC favorite that you like to play with after the Colts beat the Pats in the AFC title game?

  • BedelBlitz, There are so many good choices:

    St. Louis – Because if I were to get a cock ring, what better than a Rams Rings for ramming.

    Arizona Cardinals – Because it would be nice to beat the Colts with the worst team in football.

    Dallas – Ride ’em Cowboy…

    New York – I would need a Giant(s) Cock Ring

    But I would have to go with the Falcons because of Mike Vick and my need to play “Who Let the Dogs Out” every time I hear his name.

    (PS – San Francisco 69ers, The Foreskins, The Fuckaneers, SeaCocks… I guess the only bad choice is the Saints [Taints? dammit])

  • MATT LEINART

    WHAT UP BITCHES THIS IS MATT LEINART I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD GET A RING LIKE THIS BUT FOR BITCHES I DID. PUT THAT SHIT ON YOUR COCK AND SMOKE IT.

  • Well Matthew, Thank you for taking the time and visiting our small corner of the internets. But I don’t think they make rings for losing quarterbacks.

    And the only thing they make for people who did Paris Hilton is a cream for that itchiness you’re probably experiencing.

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