David Wells Is Indistinguishable From A Zombie At Distances Over 20 Yards

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Is anyone watching the White Sox / Phillies game?

Juan Uribe just charged Kyle Kendrick (if you can call that shambling of a gait a “charge”) and attempted to gnaw open his skull.

Every Sox player has been thrown out attempting to steal second. ???? ?????? ??? Even the normally peppy Darin Erstad got caught with this dazed look on his face.

And every single batter has tried bunting at least twice.

More updates from your NerdsOnSports team as the situation develops.