[Via Deadspin / via Deuce of Davenport]
X-Treme Baseball! Seriously, it’s like Calvinball without the whimsy or imaginary tiger and paper hats. Their website’s as much of a wretched abomination as their concept of sport, and oh, that poor guy holding the makeshift back/side-stop. Just watch the video:
If you want to make baseball more XTREME, just fill the stands with gigantic people like we do in Queens. Fans in armor sounds pretty XTREME to me.
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Other people hear that Dallas was knocked off and cheer. I hear it and immediately say, “Wait – didn’t the NBA just have playoffs?”
I seriously cannot keep track of the NBA’s season. Baseball and football have traditional seasons associated with them (spring and summer in the former; fall and winter in the latter). But until the NBA starts playing outdoor games, I’ll never have a concrete sense of when it’s “basketball season.”
NBA.com tells me that the playoffs started on April 21st and could end on June 21st. That’s two straight months of playoffs. Consider that pre-season games begin in early October and you’ve got an 8-month season. Can you imagine if football started in July? Or if the first pitch was thrown in March? That’s the level of absurdity we’re talking about here.
So here’s my new and improved NBA schedule, designed using science and shit.
(1) You play everyone in your conference twice.
(2) You play everyone in your division an additional time (so, three times for them in total)
(3) You play eight games out of conference, I don’t care against who. Are the fans really dying for a Clippers / Bobcats match-up? I don’t think so. Read more »
Don Orsillo can’t contain his laughter.
Manny pets Tavarez
Uploaded by bjs1234
EDIT: No Longer YouTube because MLB thinks they’re losing money… When I clearly sees TwinsBaseball.com and other ads showing. Also, I’m sad I missed this when it happened, and maybe I’ll watch tonights game hoping for more Don & Remy hyjinks. (Remember the pizza?). Update 5/22: Had to switch video sources again. The MLB Crackdown Team has extended their reach. I promise to use MLB.com or NESN.com hosted embedded video as soon as they have this clip available.
Update: I learned from Sox & Dawgs that Gordon Edes from the Boston Globe reported on why Manny was petting Julian. According to Edes, Julian was upset with Manny for not paying attention to the game. From what Julian said, when Julian is mad at Manny, Manny pets him to calm him down.
“The Yanks got Clemens today,” my friend Dan mentioned casually as he took a sip of his Pabst Blue Ribbon.
I was watching a replay of a Ryan Howard at bat that was being shown on a TV over my right shoulder. My head jerked back around, and I stared mouth agape at Dan for a moment.
“Dan, if you’re lying to me, I’m going to be very upset with you.”
“No, seriously, they announced it today. During the game.”
It was 10 p.m. on a Sunday night at Bukowski’s Tavern that I learned that Roger Clemens is once again a Yankee. With the news little more than half a day old, it is far too early to consider this one of my “Where Were You When” moments. Ask me again in October and I’ll let you know how significant Dan’s utterance was to my sports fandom. But there’s a lot of time between now and then, and I need to get something on paper while this story is still fresh.
So let’s tackle the Why, the Who Cares, and the So What of these tidings. Read more »
There is a lot of fun stuff going on on the web. You should check some of it out.
If your wondering about the picture here and what first round draft pick Brady Quinn is doing, I think Kissing Susy Kolber may be able to explain things about the pictures and about his girlfriend.
Or perhaps you’d like to see some Drunk Athletes goofing off and having a good time. The David Ortiz pictures are funny because he has a giant smile when being kissed by 2 girls, but he’s all “oh no you don’t” to the guy.
As for funny pictures, check out some soccer plans for a few national teams.
If soccer and Shakespeare came together, a DC United fan blog has the Starting 11 that would result from such a beautiful unholy marriage.
I leave you with some David Ortiz commercials: Read more »
So, I don’t know a damn thing about horse racing except maybe that there are horses racing. I did however come across the list of horses that will be racing in the Kentucky Derby this weekend. So, in order to help everyone with their betting, I am going to give you a run down of the horses.
Two crucial posts from elsewhere in Internovia:
1. From Fire Joe Morgan, the blog that wants ESPN to fire, well, inept baseball commentator Joe Morgan:
[sez Morgan] “but that’s how people compare statistics. My point is you can’t compare things with statistics.”
Think about that, people. “You can’t compare things with statistics.”
Exactly what, one might be tempted to ask, as one’s hands were shaking so badly one would think one had just survived an assassination attempt, might one use to compare things? Metaphor? How about the infallible human memory? Or perhaps poesy?
Much have I traveled, in realms of gold
And many goodly states and kingdoms seen
Round many Western Islands have I been,
And I have observed some stuff about some shortstops
Bill Hall did not have a monster year
Derek Jeter has a calmer set of eyes
David Eckstein is super clutch
Please don’t show me statistics that disprove my observations
2. Via Mahalanobis (which I typically don’t even read for sports), the following:
Watching the NFL (ie, real football for non-Americans) draft last weekend, they would often mention some prospect “has a good bubble”. I didn’t know exactly what they were talking about, but got confirmation on the radio today. It means they have a good–big–butt. As the gluteus maximus, or buttock muscle, is the largest muscle in the human body, it is useful signal of overall musculature.
One of the virtues of being in the thirties when it comes to draft day is that hey, you’re there for a reason. You’ve got shit figured out. Take it easy. Now’s the time to start making long-term investments that’ll pay off in a year or two, rather than hurrying sandbags into a collapsing levee.
So I’m going to talk about my Ravens.
1st round: Ben Grubbs, right guard, Auburn. One of the most liked linemen coming into the draft. The combine is full of those non-specific but enthusiastic notes that, were this baseball, would make Billy Beane tip over a lat press machine. “Explodes off the line” … “non-stop motor” … “mauler with a mean streak.”
On the other hand, it’s tough to quote impressive figures about a guard, so I understand the ambiguity. So here’s one impressive stat: Ben Grubbs never missed a game in college. This speaks of good health and, more importantly (on a team which still starts Jamal “Probation” Lewis and Ray “Obstruction of Justice” Lewis), good behavior.
3rd round: Yamon Figurs, wide receiver, Kansas State. The Ravens probably didn’t draft Figurs to catch passes, which is no doubt making the Texans pull their hair out. Say what you will about his hands – Figurs posted the fastest speed at the combine this year, and he ran back more than five fields’ worth of punts, twice for touchdowns. Pair him up with the like of B.J. Sams and the Ravens could once again have a punt return unit that puts points on the board. Read more »
