Minor Leage Baseball: All-Name Team
So the All-Name team is usually left to Mr. “I Nickname All My Fantasy Players” Serpico, but with the recent Minors Moniker Madness I decided it was time to try my hand. Plus, Serp’s more of a football name guy.
I first started with Houston Summers (who won the Moniker Madness) as my catcher (and probably team captain — a la Varitek). I mean, there is no way I could really leave the Moniker Madness winner off the team. Also, I could hardly forget second place, Will Startup, as the All-Name pitching ace. And to round out the “Contest Winners” crowd, I had to put my pick for overall best name, Jorge Poo Tang, on the roster as my right fielder and clean-up batter.
At this point in team creation I think I made my first rookie mistake: I decided to Google Jorge Poo Tang (and, no, I didn’t accept Google’s suggestion of Jorge Poontang). I found that there is a Name of the Year site. I was looking at their recent posts and came across Poony Poon and was laughing at names for at least a half hour. But, I have a blog post to write, so I grabbed myself by the bootstraps and set to work on filling out the remaining (starting) roster slots.
- 3B – Stephen King
- CF – Noochie Varner
- LF – Angel Pagen
- RF – Jorge Poo Tang
- 1B – Dognnt Bolivar (Yes, that’s how it’s spelled. I couldn’t for the life of me tell you how to pronounce it though.)
- C – Houston Summers
- SS – Henry Henry
- 2B – Winter Polo
- P – Will Startup
And I would fill out the rest of my bullpen with: Arquimedes Euclides Caminero, Ludovicus Van Mil, Matthew Manship, Ari Kafka, and Rowdy Hardy.
What do you think of my team? Is Caminero a lead weight bringing my team down or has the Manship already sailed? Perhaps this whole situation is just too damn Kafkaesque.